Artist History For Your Eyes Only: The Germans: Classified The Germans are a band of brothers, a family deeper than blood. One unit bound by the love of rock n’ roll and all it stands for. Their styles, like their personalities, are a hodgepodge of rock clichés and vaudeville theatrics. They are raw and edgy like the Negro comics of the seventies. Dark and moody like the many faces of Lon Chaney. Hypnotic like the skin dancers at Cheetah’s strip joint on a Tuesday night. The Germans are willing to bring the party to you and rock every pound of your reluctant, jellified body. This coalition of coolness produces rock n’ roll music that even your hot fifteen-year-old sister is bound to swoon over. We apologize for the inconvenience. But it is too late to stop the Germans now. THEY HAVE ARRIVED!!!!

Group Members Name: The Fritz D/O/B: 10/14/67 Birthplace: New York City At an early age the Fritz had discovered electricity. Having been struck by mighty Thor’s Hammer while gallivanting in his back yard, the Fritz was blessed with a keen understanding of the electrical impulse inherent in all living things. He has applied these principles to drumming. He also has a fondness for cherry strudel. Name: the Swede D/O/B: 6/15/68 Birthplace: Stockholm The Swede and the Fritz were both simultaneously dating the same Scientologist Swimsuit model during the summer of 2000. Her obsessive compulsive urge to emasculate all the men she bedded caused the two of them to form a band… one that would conquer the world or would die trying. The Swede quickly took up the bass guitar and is now currently searching for his cell phone. Name: Mario Von Barrio, (aka: Poker Face) D/O/B: 5/10/69 Birthplace: Argentina Toughest soldier for the lord around, MVB, as colleagues like to call him, has paved a steady reputation for what is right in the name of the Holy Ghost and a good time. He is a saint… a martyr for those that are down trodden by booze, and sex, gamble and pharmaceuticals. He is a man of forgiveness, especially if it has any implications on him. The electric guitar, given to him by a Madame at the brothel he was raised in, is now his tool of conversion. Name: Wolfgang Bonaparte D/O/B: 11/22/71 Birthplace: Berlin Wolfgang Bonaparte… who the hell is that? Some know, the Germans for one. Rescued him from an absinthe binge in New Orleans. He tried to stab the Swede over a bird named Sheila, but they soon became fast friends. The Fritz cleared his gambling debts with Von Barrio and now he plays guitar for the Germans. Still considered dangerous when generic Triazolam is involved. End of Transmission.

Albums The Germans

Additional Info thegermans@cbgb.net

Location Los Angeles, California - USA

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