July 11- As if being lazy wasn't vice enough, [ Artist Name Here ] is also guilty of being a shameless liar. He promised an album to his "legions" of "adoring" "fans", yet none came. Therefore, THERE WILL NEVER BE AN ALBUM. EVER. And by that I mean that if I make an album, I will shut up and finish it before posting many inflated notices to this page. NEW SONGS FORTHCOMING. MYSTERY ADVENTURE START

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"Hilarious Adventures of Syphilitic Goat" genre: Jump-Up
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	Ha ha ha ha! I am laughing all the way to the bank, though the severely crippled goats working there don't seem to appreciate my brand of humour, if only because they don't agree that depositing some dirty pennies which I found on the street qualifies me for free coffee.
	CD: [ Artist Name Here ] by [ Artist Name Here ] or [ Artist Name Here ]: The Album; I'm not sure which is more clever.   Label: Gov't Issue Records Credits: Viola da gamba- [ Artist Name Here ]; Further inspiration- The greed that made me burn with desire for further Payback for Playback and made me hope that another song would allow me to stop selling as many dog hair sweaters.
"Variations on a Fetus" genre: Piano
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	A (highly Teutonic) set of piano variations written as a suitable substitute for a virgin sacrifice, in offering to Broken Fetus ( http://www.brokenfetus.8m.com ). Although the resemblance of the four-note theme to a Fetus may be evident to our more depraved listeners, its particular nuances will need to remain undescribed so as to maintain the integrity of Christian society, as epitomized by Charlton Heston and David Koresh.
	CD: [ Artist Name Here ] vs. Jason Nevins   Label: Gov't Issue Records Credits: Fetus- The exquisitely ineffable insobriety of Mother Nature; Variations- [ Artist Name Here ]
"Squitty, the World's Largest Midget!" genre: Breakbeat/Breaks
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	Wow! I've never seen a grown man bathe in that much melted cheddar cheese!
	CD: CD Laser Lens Cleaner   Label: Gov't Issue Records Credits: Fun- [ Artist Name Here ]; Even more fun - ibid.

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