Artist description Think of a big penis covered with cheese.

Music Style Techno Dance

Musical Influences Devo, Gary Numan, Kraftwerk, Skinny Puppy, Pink Floyd

Similar Artists Ferry Jack and the Flippants, Nylon Oven, Swirling Buttocks Blues Band, Cinnamon Prostate

Artist History 1865: Uncle Ted pisses into a can. The sound it makes causes him to dance.1899: Uncle Ted pisses on a small child. He then forms a cult and new art movement called "TAH".1902: Uncle Ted and small child (Melvin Dink) form band based on the cult/art movement and their favorite poop games. The band is called Schmendertoasten.1920: Uncle Ted dies in terrible accident. Ted overdoses on Melvins vomit.1944: Melvin and the ghost of Uncle Ted create first recording. Only five records are ever pressed.1945: Melvin dies. Melvin is beaten to death while sticking his finger in a dike. Melvin had mistaken a peeing lesbian for a dam that was about to break. Melvin joins Uncle Ted in Hell and reforms their band.1984: Shyven (a.k.a. Farmer Ted) finds a rare recording of Schmendertoasten in a record store.1984: Shyven plays record next day. Nothing happens.1999: Shyven finds old record in closet (Schmendertoasten) and gives it a listen. Jesus visits him in a vision as he listens. Shyven is instructed by Jesus to form a techno dance band and write songs about frightened children involved in the TAH cult. Shyzmattic is born.....

Group Members Shyven a.k.a. Farmer Ted. Also w/Will Miller (Guest Vox)

Instruments Computer loops and samples, poop, phone lists.

Albums Uncle Ted's Monkey Dance Hits/Bleeding Butt Blues / The Anus Under the Stairs / One Night At Your Moms House (LIVE)

Press Reviews "...this is as gay as anything I have ever heard!" - Kay Swavay of Bordom Magazine-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-"Every time you click to his page your supporting Satan!" Dane Clark (Christian Music Review)

Location Tucson, AZ - USA

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