Artist description Cheap Guitars, Cheap Scotch, Cheap Women and Other Debauchary

Music Style Double you over with a shotgun kind.

Musical Influences J&B, Ushers, Dewars, Chivas, Johnny Walker (all colors), Glenfiddish, etc

Similar Artists Neil Diamond and Mel Torme coked up on geritol, drunk and loud, out on a crazy night of whoring.

Artist History Mel Torme stopped by and said "Get your credit cards and pants, we're gonna pick up some broads and "get some" you know what I mean?". He even did the little finger bend meaning "quote" - get some. Of course he already had a drink or two and apparently had done a line of oldman smack, which is actually crushed geritol sucked through a rolled up 5 dollar bill, but what else is there to do on a friday night. Right? We headed down Lower Broad..., where else to find some bimbo's than Lower Broad?..., and sure enough, right out in the open, there they were. Mel was crazy and twitching, real eager like. He yelled, "HEY TOOTS, I'M FRIGGIN, YOU KNOW, THE VELVET FOG AND CRAP, HOW 'BOUT SOME KISSY, KISSY FOR OLD BLUE EYES?" Yeah, he was pretty smooth alright, but always got himself mixed up with Frank. That's always been a touchy subject for him. In a drunken stupor one time, he tried to hire Neil Diamond to kill Frank for him, but he wouldn't do it. I think he was scared. But anyways, now, not withstanding the resistance, The Fog jumped out and bumrushed the bimbo line in a desperate attempt to "get some". He came crashing to the floor. Fell over a piece of crap, puke-infested bum. Furious, Mel began to beat the living piss outta the bum until he realized it was Mr Diamond himself. Regaining composure, we all sat around in the alley, set up some oldman smack, and a few seconds later with a new invigoration full of drunken insanity, vowed to once and for all, PUT A GOOD MURDERING ON OL' FRANK. No, we were not scared. And we never will be again.

Group Members Eugene Swank, but that's Mr. Swank to you, bimbo.

Instruments Refer to Musicial Influences

Albums I'm Alive With Pleasure, Ma'am! --- Have Gun, Will Travel

Press Reviews I don't know how to read, and why should I, I don't care what you think, and I already know the shape of the bottle I need to buy. Those news people are full of crap anyways. They couldn't find their butt with both hands, even if they were in San Francisco.

Location Pensacola, Florida - USA

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