Artist description ...just as the tibetans go into the mountains to seek enlightenment, such is a musical instrument to sixteen trio. we want to be the lightning that people see in the sky, heralding the boom of the next musical revolutionary movement. as opposed to regarding ourselves as serious studio musicians, we like to consider what we do performance art—but not in the way people traditionally think of art. instead, our art is in the listener, not the music. that is the primary difference between our music and the majority of performers within the collective musical consciousness of today. we have long sought a way to incite something in people when they listen to us, to create a sort of detachment (much like the japanese concept of bushido) that will force them to reappraise the way they interact with their environment, allowing them to step out of themselves and discern the important from the futile. in all fairness, we do not purport to be successful; what these songs document is an attempt. in some ways, our music can be paralleled to mark rothko’s work—it isn’t so much about the technique involved in the creation, or in the particular palette of textures used, but in the inner workings of the audience, intertwining with the phenomenological idiosyncrasies of each individual that lead them to either comprehension or confusion. the content of what we do, the subject matter that is the background, should not be taken by anyone as if we were literalists. in reviewing the blandness of the breadth of topics covered in modern music, we came to the conclusion that there is a hankering existential ennui amiss that nobody wants to address. we feel our mission as artists is to make people see, but not the likeness of mere reflection; they need to rely less on politics and social norms and blind morality and look at things through the unfettered clarity of stark emotion.

Music Style Sensitive Rock

Musical Influences karlheinz stockhausen, hanoi rocks, stravinsky's ballets, abba, ornette coleman, slaughter, electric light orchestra, the carpenters, zz top (for their beards)

Similar Artists a cross between a more mature hanson and gwar

Artist History Sixteen Trio came together through a very happy coincidence, serendipitously, if you will. Stanley Malloy and Stuart Smalls both happened to be in a supermarket, both looking for onion soup. Soon afterwards, they got in a fight, because onion soup breeds aggressiveness and irritability in most people. This particular tendency of our dear friend onion soup, besides being delicious, is the number one cause of death attributed to road rage in North America behind waking up on the left side, which everyone knows is the wrong side, of the bed. Anyway, Stuart and Stanley soon resolved their differences, had a nice hot bowl of tasty onion soup, got into another fight when they were done with the soup, then decided to start a band. Neither Stuart nor Stanley knew how to play any instruments, so they underwent two years of ardent study in classical form and structure, Stuart becoming a brilliant cellist and Stanley becoming the world's foremost triangle player. Then they got into drugs, eating as much as two aspirin every time they got a headache, and taking cold medicine when their noses were stuffy. A long and arduous battle ensued, but luckily after spending a collective six months in a detoxification center they emerged victorious to the delight of cello and triangle enthusiasts worldwide. Then something worse than drugs happened; they listened to some jazz. They recorded the song "Jazz Revelation", which went to number 1 on the singles chart in Sri Lanka, where their avant garde stylings captured the hearts of the entire country. Then things got hairy. Stuart and Stanley were each consuming as much as three gallons of onion soup every day, making them more malevolent than ever and costing about $12 a week to maintain their habit. This time they spent nine months in a detoxification center specifically for the soup-addicted; they only weighed about 150, combined, when they turned themselves in. After waging yet another strenuous fight, they came clean to the glee of Sri Lankan jazz purists. Then their darkest trial came upon them. Stuart and Stanley were playing a gig in Omaha, when someone threw hot onion soup on Stuart's cello. He had to give up the instrument, suffering a severe soup-burn. Stanley, equally disenchanted by his good friend's misfortune, gave up the triangle, realizing that it was a pretty crappy instrument and he looked like a big sissy playing it. So, they started playing guitars, because guitars are ridiculously easy to master in comparison to a cello, and even more so in comparison to the triangle. Recognizing that their Sri Lankan hit, "Jazz Revelation", contained neither triangle nor cello and instead was actually played on guitars, they went to the woodshed and slowly worked up the pearls of musical ingenuity found elsewhere on this website. Their return may be sluggish and exhausting, but Sixteen Trio hope to win back the people's love they established in their classical music jaunt. People may wonder, "Why are they called a trio if there's only two of them?" And that's a question easily answered; in Stuart's own words, "…and we call ourselves a trio because onion soup is the third member of the band, the reason we are where we are, a constant reminder of the fallacies that come along with stardom, and our constant stigma to remind us that clam chowder, preferably red, is some awesome-ass soup." Amen, Stuart. Amen. --William H. Bonnie

Group Members Sixteen Trio is made up of Stuart Smalls and Stanley Malloy.

Instruments four ukeleles and a washboard

Albums sensitive rockers EP

Location Tampa, FL - USA

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