Artist description From deep in the heart of the glorious state of Iowa, an amazing convergenceof alternate dimensions occurred, leading to the formation of vibrations thatthreaten to destroy Top 40 music and/or techno-trance! Sub-categorizations are irrelevant to the ultimate goal of this entity, as are determinations of purpose and the conjugations of completely formed musical ideas. No oneperson may stand in its destructive path across the airwaves and fiber opticcables of the known universe, and only gigantic corporations dare throw immense amounts of currency in its general direction to divert it from its meandering, adverb-filled, sociopathic tendencies which appear to be subsidingin intensity as the earth rotates daily on its axis. But wait, the vibrationsof low frequency have increased in step with the changing tide of activities in sub-Sahara Africa! The calls of lemurs and squeals of mechanical Japanese puppy dogs have awakened the rabble-rousers from their daily slumber in the bowels of south-western Missouri. They rise from their coccoons made of cotton, thousands of synthetic fabrics, and dust mites to begin their quest anew, invigorated by the scent of Honey Nut Cheerios and generic soap products. Setting out from their domiciles made of fibers smashed together at extremely high pressure,they are unsure yet again of which direction to take in their adventure throughthe annals of rock and roll. But no matter which way they go, each direction leads straight into the heart of every conscious American and Canadian, and to alesser extent, every living creature on the face of the earth. Now you must listen to the noise that eminates from your speakers and/or refrigeratorand learn the clear truth these fellas bring forth to the masses. Rock ON!

Music Style Talentless hack rock music.

Musical Influences Incestuous Poultry, Chaos Theory.

Similar Artists Minutemen, Tonedeaf Idiots, that crazy person on the street corner.

Artist History According to popular legend, the band in question was formed at a late-nightbrainstorming session among the leaders of the free world. "Ha ha, wouldn'tit be great if we formed a scrawny alternative rock band! Oh the hilarity!"they screamed as they finished off the last of the margaritas mixed with motor oil.Through a series of events including the distribution of 500,000 cheese-filled hot dogs, the misplacement of a seventeen-year-old yorkshire terrier, and a randomnumber generator rigged to only produce the number "3072", the man known asMr. Usted was informed of his patriotic duty to form a band consisting of himand his imagined alternate personalities. This "band" would produce "songs"to further "dull" the "uneducated and smelly" people who use the so-called"Internet". So, take your place among the elite and listen to the relaxing,non-subliminal-message-laced alternative rock sounds of "Spork Music".

Group Members Mr. Usted: Vocals; Fretted, Fretless, Distorted, Clean, and Cordless Drill Basses,Drum Programming.Drumz: Bigshööter P. Bigd0g.No guitars please.

Instruments Vocals, Bass Guitar, Computer-based drums.

Albums None yet.

Press Reviews Oh my gawd, no!!!!!!!-Associated Press.

Location Nevada, MO - USA

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