Artist description Four semi-opaque guys with hair (at least, in the early 90's) and a brief flash of popularity with deaf, married housewives over the age of 43, convicted of at least one felony in New Mexico. Alright, we had one fan ... her name was Melba, and she tragically died in a bizarre rodeo accident just two days before we gigged at her favorite gay bar.

Music Style A fairly unambiguous melange of other band's styles.

Musical Influences The Carpenters (posthumously), early Chipmunks (before Alvin started attending AA meetings), Kiss (before they formed, but after Gene realized he could lick his own noggin), and, of course, REM (when the "R" still stood for "rabbinical" rather that "rapid").

Artist History We were convinced our music was original, but it wasn't. We thought we were the first band without conflicts, but I thoroughly disagreed with the singer on this issue. We believed we had stage-presence, until we played a gig in a club, facing the bar which had a wall-sized mirror behind it, dramatically reflecting our lack of stage-presence back to our gawking eyes (three people showed up for the show, including my mom who carried the guitar amps, the bartender who had to be there, and Melba's two-day-old ghost ... so let's just say, we had an unimpeded view of ourselves). We were convinced we would "make it," but we fell miserably short of that predestined goal after running over our only connection to the music industry (Stagedoor Joe, the guy who once opened a door for the roommate of Led Zeppelin's ex-producer's second cousin) with our equipment-laden VW bus. We knew we were having fun, but we hated every minute of it.

Group Members Fred - Vocals, Guitar, Inflated Ego; Bart - Lead Guitar, Poofy Hair; Scooby - Bass, Snacks; James - something akin to banging on pots and pans

Instruments yes

Press Reviews "Their stuff reminded me that I left the burner on," said Mike Engles of the Philadelphia Shoe Retailers Weekly. " Are they any good? Maybe, maybe not. Are there other bands like this? Most likely. Do they own cool instruments? I can't tell from the CD cover. I can definitively say, however, that it's time for lunch and this CD would work exceedingly well as a drink coaster, if it didn't have this @#%*# hole in the middle of it," said Joseph Lark of the Environmental Protection Agency.

Location Philadelphia, PA - USA

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