Artist description Classic three piece Veg. Rock Combo

Music Style Vegetarian Rock / Pentecostal Ska

Musical Influences Solvents, Sedatives, Holsteins and Automatic Milking Machinery

Artist History Formed in the early nineties as a radical bovine rights collective, BOVINE JUSTICE! was initially involved in clandestine activities relating to the freeing of our enslaved bovine brothers. Since then BOVINE JUSTICE! has taken the next logical step beyond emancipating enslaved cows: Making "music". Music for cows. Here's the whole story... Originally mankind lived in small tribal communities. During the day the men would go out to hunt, while the women's duties included the manufacturing of garments from animal pelts and the collection of items that assisted in the preparation of food. All in all it was quite a brutal existence. Often the men were unsuccessful in locating game, other creatures were either far too fast or easily knew when humans were approaching, while other animals were powerful enough to be a real danger to the hunters and many were severely injured or killed in the course of a hunt. What's worse, sometimes the hunters would be unable to bring back any meat at all, and as a result, would be forced into travelling further abroad risking themselves to either becoming lost, or possibly running into an unfriendly tribe, all the while facing the cruel elements without proper shelter. All of this changed however when a small tribe on the Qezel Owzan river inmodern day Iran crossed the Elburz Mountains to the north in search of food. What they saw next surely shocked them. As they descended the mountain heights thousands of square kilometres of natural pasture lay before them. But within this vast fertile plain nestled between mountain ranges, there stood grazing hundreds of thousands of creatures of substantial size. As they approached they were surprised to find that the animal made no sudden movements to escape, but continued to feed contently occasionally making a low elongated whining noise as it did so. It soon became quite apparent that killing such a creature would be ridiculously easy: it was fat and could not run very fast; it had no self-defense mechanisms; and others would not come to the aid of an injured one. It seemed that this animal had survived without the knowledge of enemies or danger. On top of this, the killing of just one of these creatures would supply the tribe with enough meat to feed the community for an entire week! What the hunters didn't know was that they had stumbled across the legendary 'Valley of the Cows.' A real place to be sure, located today in the area surrounding the Iranian city of Rasht. When the Great Creator fashioned the Earth he decreed that bovine and humans were created equal. However mankind, being infinitely sinful, did not adhere to the commandment 'Thou shall not eatith of the flesh of the oxen' (One should note here that by oxen the Great Creator meant all bovine and related cousins in the animal kingdom - this point is generally agreed upon by most experts in the field) and proceeded to slaughter the hapless creature at an incredible rate. When the Great Creator returned to earth after a lengthy hiatus (presumably he was off tinkering with some other planet), the bovine population was on the brink of extinction. Disgusted with mankind, he created a massive flood that sweep across the Middle East, dispersing humans as well as greatly decreasing their numbers. As for the bovine, the solution was to hide them away from mankind in their own special location, a virtual Garden of Eden for cows - the 'Valley of the Cows.' Anyway, as you might have imagined it didn't take long after the killing of that first cow by the tribal hunters until more tribes found their way across the mountains to the forbidden holy ground, and history was repenting itself. But behold! Once again the Great Creator returned to save the threatened creature, but this time a new solution was to be established. The incredible solution was to teach mankind agriculture - the planting and cultivating of crops, so that if they followed the Great Creator's instructions properly, they would never be hungry again! On top of this the farming lifestyle far less dangerous than hunting, and it gave the community more time for other jobs, like prostitution. It certainly wasn't as fun as throwing a spear through a cow's skull, but the benefits outweighed the drawbacks. And how do the bovine fit into this solution you ask? Well it was agreed upon that for approximately 10 minutes a day a human may pull on and squeeze the udders of a cow to provide milk for the community. While male bovine on the odd occasion could be use to pull ploughs through the fields to assist in seed planting. (Well let's be honest folks, would you let someone squeeze your tit for 10 minutes a day in return for free food and shelter? The partnership seemed assured!) This time however, the Great Creator provided a warning to mankind, that if ever the sacred arrangement with the bovine was to be broken, upon his next return he shall send a 'Great Equalizer' to punish mankind, and restore the bovine to its rightful place. (It is interesting to note here that geological evidence from the Middle East points to a huge flood occurring approximately 10000 BC, while archeological evidence confirms both the great slaughter of the Valley of the Cows, and the beginnings of civilization circa 4000 B.C.) But instead of boring you with details of bovine history through the ages, let us jump straight to 1902, where an albino calf was born on the Metz-Lieber Ranch just outside of Baltimore, Maryland. Far from being your typical cow, this heifer was said to have a psychic link with its fellow bovine. The 'Prophet', as she came to be known, retold the complete history of their species, letting all bovine understand the divine decree that was given to them. (You must remember that cow history was an oral tradition passed down from generation to generation, and that each heard would have its own historian to keep the word alive. But even with that, over the course of 6000 years much of the most important information was lost or confused.) With this new enlightenment of their true history also came a dire prediction from the Prophet. It was said that the next century wouldbring the most hideous conditions that the bovine would endure in its entire existence on this planet. But that if they remained strong and kept the faith alive, that the Great Creator will return in 100 years to set things right. Today bovine across the planet, but more particularly in the Western Hemisphere, face a horrible existence. Cows are continuously pumped full of various drugs and hormones injections to maximize beef and milk output. Many calves are taken away from their mother soon after birth to be force-fed in small boxes until there is just enough fat on their body for a thin slice of veal. Most bulls are killed at birth since there is little use for them, except of course for small leather goods. Among the few that are permitted to live, many are humiliated for human enjoyment by having astrap pulled tight across their groin, while some fool in a cowboy hat attempts to ride its back for an allotted period of time. Obviously the abuse goes well beyond just these brief examples. However, the most cruel and disgusting of mankind's dastardly deeds towards our bovine friends has still yet to be mentioned. I'm talking of course of the policy implemented in the mid 1990's that began to insert bovine by-product into cattle-feed, turning unbeknownst bovine into cannibals as well. Imagine the horror the heard would have felt if they knew they were devouring their own relatives while they're chowing down for lunch! Little wonder that this led to the so-called 'mad cow disease' which devastated the U.K.'s cattle industry and resulted in the execution of millions of innocent bovine. (We will always remember you!) A more appropriate title should have been mad human disease! A bloody bovine coup over its oppressor almost took place then and there. Emotions were very high. But then there came rumblings and remembrance of what the Prophet had told them. 100 years was almost up, vengeance and restoration was at hand. For soon the Great Creator will return, and see that his bovine children were once again in crisis. The divine decree has once again been broken by mankind, and he will have no option but to send down to Earth the Great Equalizer. The one (if you followed the story up until this point I applaud you) who will smash the evil cattle industry who has imprisoned and abused the bovine! The one who will have bloody vengeance on the millions of beef-eaters around the globe! And the one who will completely break the chains of oppression and will restore the bovine to their rightful place as divinely protected creatures! One way or another there shall be BOVINE JUSTICE! P.S. India may get a break here, but at this point nothing is guaranteed.

Instruments The Holy Trinity (TM) of Guitar, Bass and Drums

Albums Sacred Cow, Turgid Udder, Live at the Silo

Press Reviews "Manure" -- Dairy Agriculture Monthly

Location Toronto, Ontario - Canada

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