Artist description Fun rock just for you!

Artist History A long, long time ago, a young man named Ryan Ferris was taken by his father to a Future Dentists of America convention in Salem, Oregon. While browsing through some literature on the importance of flossing, Ryan noticed another young man who happened to be probing an elderly man with an enormous toothbrush. Confused by what he saw, Ryan approached the strange kid and asked for his name. It turned out that he was talking to Kevin Jacobson and after a few minutes of stimulating conversation, they both came to the realization that neither one of them ever really wanted to be a dentist in the first place. Having decided that, Kevin and Ryan escaped from the convention, stole a car, and began traveling north. Not knowing where they were going or what they would do when they got there, they drove northbound up Interstate 5 – looking for some action. Somewhere around Kelso, Washington, the twosome made an amazing discovery. After pulling over to the side of the road to relieve themselves, they stumbled upon something shaking uncontrollably in a ditch. This something turned out to be living creature completely covered in mud. With the creature in the trunk, the boys drove to a nearby gas station and broke out a water hose. After cleaning off the dirty creature, they found him to be of humanoid shape and of above-average strength but lacking any ability to speak. Kevin and Ryan made it their personal mission to teach the savage creature the English language and decided to name him Gorak. After a few days, they noticed that Gorak had an uncanny ability to play the electric bass. Being guitarists and songwriters themselves, they decided to form a band with Gorak so they could meet girls. After relocating to Corvallis, they began practicing their music with Ryan taking on the easy-to-play guitar parts and Kevin playing the higher-pitched and harder-to-play sections. Frustrated by his sub par guitar skills, Ryan took on further responsibility as the group’s lead vocalist. It was about this time that the group suddenly realized they needed something called a 'drummer' - so they started the process of auditioning. Still very primate-like in behavior, Gorak 'accidentally' ate approximately seven of the first few drummers that tried out with the group. To this day, the only drummer they have been able to hold on to is a young man named Bubba Holter who, as Gorak once said, 'smells too bad to eat.' Shortly after Bubba joined the group, the band met up with a very talented vocalist named Alfred. Although unable to commit to the hectic schedule of a touring rock and roll band, Alfred has agreed to make special performances with the group from time to time. As the group gained experience, they soon discovered that Gorak would be an unacceptable name for their bassist - so they immediately changed his name to Michael Maginn on the night of their first show. The group is currently playing their turbo-charged brand of rock and roll around Oregon.

Group Members Michael Maginn: bass, vocals; Kevin Jacobson: guitars, vocals, anger; Ryan Ferris: vocals, guitar, stoopidity

Instruments Yes

Albums Figuring Out Emotions

Press Reviews "They call themselves 'loud, weird, and disgusting.' Sound crass? Sure, but don't let your snobby musical pretensions get in the way of enjoying the juvenile pleasures of this band. These six guys from Oregon happily soil their guitar lines and tongue-in-cheek lyrics with a bit of country, a bit of funkiness, and a lot of good-humored raunch." -Riffage.com; "Can't you guys think of something a little more original?? Corny has been done. Stop wasting your time. If you want to make it, learn some musical techniques!!" -grassoppa@yahoo.com; "These guys need to get a day job. Funny tho'......... " -Bobnoxious; "Tricky Dick and the Hot Freshmen Girls. Real band. Playing real music. Real cool." - Kurt Sahr; "Sans vocals, [Lesbian Love Affair] would get a much higher rating from this reviewer! The too-many-beers-and-a-karaoke-machine lead singer combined with juvenile, pedantically predictable (oooh, alliteration!) lyrics left me not wanting more, but wanting out!" - greatrewards; "I thought the vocals were perfect for the mood of the song. The lyrics cracked this lesbian up. And I enjoyed the guitar work. Left me wanting out so I could go and listen to MORE of your music." - thePest; "i like country but [Missin' My Cows] doesn't make it.sorry" - sun22; "Give it up. Now. You guys have no talent." - riteaboutrecords@cheerful.com;"If you thought Andrew 'Dice' Clay was funny, wait 'till you hear Tricky Dick and the Hot Freshmen Girls! Songs like, 'Do Me Tonite' and 'Porn Star' let you know what you're in for. You don't have to be a pre-pubescent boy to love this, but it sure helps!" - Kali H. at www.listen.com;"[Porn Star] is on hit, yo!" - Anthony French;"That's a mean riff Ryan" - Ryan's Dad;"started off cool then sound became bad got into a heavy metal rut no lyric content" - fornicators; "why do they waste their time?" - blue

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Location Salem, Oregon - USA

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