"Once upon a very long time ago before there was any MP3, Internet, or e-mail that said "Kinky Sexy College Girls Waiting To Fulfill Your Every Fantasy, JUST CLICK HERE", there was a semi-famous rock band. For the sake of keeping them anonymous, we'll call them Wild Cherry. These brave pioneers would strap their guitars, Marshall amps, and power generators (there was no electricity back then) to their donkeys and travel up and down the interstate entertaining huge crowds of alcoholics in nightclubs that smelled like beer, cigarettes, and beef jerky upchuck. All in an attempt to just raise enough money to buy feed for their project pig that they were fattening up to win the 4-H club medal at the county fair that year. Then one night out of nowhere, it was everywhere. We'll call it Disco. Trying to be the surviving brave soul, they rose up and fought back to do their part to elevate themselves and the rest of the world to the "great audio dance song about this and that" for the times, so hard at the time being white, and still trying to be so Dis-co-Tek. One day, they all shared a bologna sandwich with some bad mayonnaise, got salmonella, and died. (I made that last part up, the phone was ringing). It was at that crucial moment that the incredibly talented visionary Rob Parissi (he's writing this himself) wrote the song "Play That Funky Music," thinking that it would surely change the world. It Didn't. But it's a pretty good spin and it's still popular. OK, everything I said is a lie, except for the part about it still being popular. My Mom still loves it, and she plays it all the time."