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| KEVIN QUAIL QUARTET | mp3.com/KevinQuailQuartet |
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IN SEARCH OF AL QAEDA-FRONTLINE BUDDY RICH CURSING OUT THE BAND READ A REVIEW OF KEVIN QUAIL CD ENTITLED "ORACLE" JERRYJAZZMUSICIAN.COM-GREAT JAZZ SITE WITH INTERVIEWS, REVIEWS, GIFTS, BOOKS, ETC. Kevin Quail has recorded with Charles McPherson, Andy Simpkins, Carl Leukaufe, Robert Barry, Mike Wofford, Joe Marillo, Bob Dogan and The Doug Lawrence Orchestra.Charles McPherson. He is an incredible jazz alto sax giant- he played with Mingus for 10 or 12 years back in the '70s. But if any of you musicians out there just think of him as a Bird imitator, you are sadly mistaken. His playing at this time of his life is akin to the Coltrane "sheets of sound", only on alto. Anytime you can get to hear him play live, go see him. You will NEVER forget it. Why do they hate us? One word- Oprah. Remembering Your Spirit? Hey, Oprah, how about Remembering Your Diet? Speaking of Oprah, how about that guy, Dr. Phil, she has on all the time? Never before have I seen someone use all his knowledge and intuition to demonstrate such a complete grasp of the obvious.There's this sax player, uhh... let's call him Peter Ballin. He's on a gig with, ohhh... let me pull a name out of a hat here- Don Kagen- the kind of a gig where Kagen and his wife who sings both have their yarmulkes on onstage- and at the bar, Kagen's wife comes up and tells him how "we don't drink on our gigs." (She has a glass of brandy in her hand at the time.) So Peter says "What's that?" And she comes up with "Oh,that's just to make my voice sound better." So he, of course retorts, raising his glass,"This is just to make your voice sound better." A comparison of the jazz scenes in New York and Chicago can best be illustrated by the difference between the Sunday crossword puzzle in the New York Times and the Chicago Tribune. I saw a young rapper interviewed on television the other day. In a three minute interview, he must have said "know what I'm sayin" 15 times. In fact, it was every other phrase out of his mouth. This is a person who's supposed art deals exclusively with language yet he appeared to be almost illiterate. Rap music is by far the greatest pop culture scam ever perpetrated on the American people- that's right, even bigger than Elvis. It isn't the message that offends me but rather the lack of any discernible talent. There have been so many African American geniuses in the field of jazz- Charlie Parker, Herbie Hancock, John Coltrane, Bud Powell, Art Tatum, Sonny Rollins, Lee Morgan- the list goes on and on. These are artists who worked their entire lives to perfect their craft and are guilty only of creative brilliance. They were, in fact, some of the earliest civil rights activists. Shame on the recording industry for promoting this current travesty called "rap music", the title of which is an oxymoron. I suppose it's just so true what H. L. Mencken once said: "No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public." Oh and it's so nice that the rappers wear a ton of diamonds and gold that their brothers in Africa are digging out of the ground at slave wages. An infomercial for some convection oven called the Flav-O-Wave begins "You're about to be introduced to the greatest thing that's happened to cooking food since the invention of fire." Yeah, right. The INVENTION of fire. In the liner notes for "Pure Desmond", saxaphonist Paul Desmond was asked, "What accounts for the melancholy in your playing?" He replied "Well, probably the fact that I wasn't playing better." MISTAKES I'VE MADE- Shortly after I met my almost future third ex-wife, Jerry Garcia died. I still remember standing in my kitchen with a bass player friend, watching her sobbing and throwing herself around on the futon when she found out. She was in her 40s at the time. Later, which means YES, I didn't dump her right then so there was a later, she said to me "My brother and I are so close, I'm surprised we never had sex." I imagine she's moved to Kentucky by now or perhaps Philadelphia- it is, after all, the City of Brotherly Love. That so-called relationship finally ended when I accompanied her to Shambala Day, a yearly celebration of the Bhuddist sect she belonged to. For some reason, this group of nutjobs warbled together on a ditty entitled "Goodbye To Nova Scotia" which somehow had a tenuous connection to their religious cult. After that I went with this meglomaniacal actress (I know, that's redundant) for awhile. One time,she was in a play that had full-frontal male nudity. She thought I might bring my 15-year-old daughter to the play so she could meet her. Good one, genius. J. C. Watts recently retired from his job as the only African American Republican in Congress. His father was often quoted as saying, "A black man voting for the Republicans makes about as much sense as a chicken voting for Colonel Sanders." It's the 21st Century. If you are one of those idiots still hunting animals for sport, why not contact the Israelis and hunt eighty year old Nazis instead? It has to be a little more challenging-at least they have opposable thumbs and can shoot back. Note to the men of the Muslim world- quit marrying your cousins and get some pants. True story- A woman filed a lawsuit against a 900 number because she got carpal-tunnel syndrome from masturbating so much. I'm still waiting for Hustler, in reference to their pictorials, to use the headline "Weapons Of Mass Turbation." I have to say something about these charlatan psychics like John Edwards and James Van Praagh. First of all, there are millions of dead people. Yet somehow these idiots claim to be able to precisely zero in on messages from specific dead relatives of people over the phone. So let me get this straight- these hucksters play a game of 20 questions with their simple-minded believers and when they get it wrong they say the message didn't come through clearly? So they can guess right but can never actually be wrong? They never seem to go back more than one or two generations so I guess it's just your immediate family that is hovering around you waiting for these shady spiritualists to contact them about their tumors or heart attacks. They never have anything important to say like, for example, "Hey, Hamid, go ahead and blow yourself up but there won't be 72 virgins waiting for you, just a sadistic imp with a hot poker he repeatedly shoves into your eye socket for all eternity." Think about it- would people who actually had such a power try to make money off it with psychic cruises to the Greek Isles and such? This just proves what Frank Zappa said: Hydrogen isn't the most plentiful element in the universe- it's stupidity. A newscaster on Fox actually said that dolphins trained by the Navy to detect mines had "joined the coalition of the willing". I think the smartest dolphin ever would have trouble with the concept of "raise your flipper if you want to go to Iraq." Ghallager- what's that about? Is it humor for the inbred? He has all the sophistication of an obese carny with foot odor. Take your pick- God, lucky rabbit's foot- it's all the same.
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