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Feliz Navidad. DJ Consuelo es muerto.
December 22, 2000
It is my unwanted duty to inform you the DJ (pronounced Dee-Hay) Consuelo is no more. This rising star (apparently) of 'Nuevo Musica Mexicano Electronica,' specializing in obnoxious aggressive techno and 'speedbass,' had hoped to make enough on MP3.com's 'Payback for Playback' scheme to escape the sex trade in her na tive Tijauna. Alas, this was not to be. Having not made 'one steenking peso,' as she put it, and with the holidays fast approaching, she needed to get her hands on some extra cash for some gifts for her loved ones (a donkey and a few sailors and 'jarheads' from nearby Southern California military installations). Unfortunately, she decided to pick up the extra change as an 'actress' and this is where she fell in with the wrong crowd. Fortunately for music fans, she had just gone through a very productive p eriod and had just sent us a large box of her master tapes. We will be sorting through these and releasing them for the enjoyment of music fans everywhere during the coming months. Her killers are in custody and authorities are busy rounding up all copies of the 'DJ Consuelo Snuff Film.' We can only hope and pray that none find their way onto the internet. The fate of the donkey is still to be determined. Instead of a moment of silence, please observe a moment of noise. She would have wanted it that way.
DJ Consuelo * 1978-2000
She don't have to "blow de donkey" no more.
Happy Holidays.
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IT IS ERNEST BORGNINE! |
Credits: DJ CONSUELO |
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D _ N K_ _ - S _ Z _ _ - P _ _ _ S |
Credits: DJ CONSUELO |
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DON'T GET YOUR PECKER CAUGHT IN ONE! |
Credits: DJ CONSUELO |
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