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"I was playing the flute at a royal ceremony one time when the queen mum commented *That's a lovely pipe you have there Giffers ...Do you know any Jethro Tull?* I was beside myself as i had to admit { as a Teen } i had learned the guitar solo to Thick as a Brick on my Flute.....The Giff was in a spot indeedy! Commonsense took hold though{ i'm bally pleased to say} and i changed the subject by blowing a Raspberry,pointing to "Marmaduke" the corgi then launching into a rousing rendition of PILOT's January....!!!!!! To which the family gave an almighty Roar ......... { I saved the day and the Flute }"
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| When you're satisfied with the length of you're pumping session - pull the tube off and carefully remove the tape and the plastic. Well-ah - you should be the proud new owner of a great bell like mushroom head which hangs like a great bulb at the end of your "regularly" sized shaft. The effect can be really cool - the mushroom head you've always wanted :) |
Label: Mirken
Credits: Down on the growl |
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| A group of blokes gather at a mate's house.The initial object is to see who can get pissed the quickest.The candidates usually sort themselves out reasonably quickly.When one bloke appears to have"hit the wall" then he is ripe for the ritual.One person should simply mutter to another 'piss on a mate'.The most leggless mate is positioned by force into the middle of the yard where for the rest of the night everyone pisses on him.Although he will enjoy little respect from the group initially, with time and hindsight his stocks will improve immeasurably.Chances are he will be captain of the team the following season and will enjoy a fruitful career as a barrister | |
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| This can happen anywhere,in the pub,the club or at a gathering at home.Generally speaking there should be a lot of blokes drinking.Very early on it will become apparent who is the least popular.The trick is to wait untill he's had quite a few and goes to the rest room.While he's left his beer on the table,mutter "dick in the beer" and the rest of the blokes get out their members and place them in the absent friends beer for a few seconds.When the absent mate returns,make sure no giggling occurs.Pretend it's business as usual and allow him to finish his beer in peace.Then just quietly mention that all the blokes had their dicks in his beer.He will react warmly,because he thinks he has become popular. | |
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Screaming Lord Giffnock
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