Story Behind the Song
Every folksinger needs a song about his dad. This is one of mine. It might even be about your dad. Or about you...
Lyrics
The Battle of the Squirrel and the CEO
© 1992 by R.A. Gramann
Captain of industry,
Corporate leader,
Retired to the country,
Set up a bird feeder.
Finch-colored plumage,
And not before eight,
The chorus of birdsong
Not boardroom debate.
But the squirrels eat the birdseed
Frighten finches away.
The squirrels they get fat.
They pig-out all day.
Chased away from the feeder
They're back when your gone.
Scourge of retirees
The fiends of the lawn.
When you fight the squirrels,
You get no holidays,
No vacation, no weekend.
The squirrels elude your grand designs.
Each day they eat again.
When you fight the squirrels,
Don't let your guard down,
Keep your wits sharp till the end.
There's nothing else that matters,
You've got that birdseed
To defend.
He put the birdfeeder
Up on a pole.
But that didn't deter
The squirrel from his goal.
A coating of Crisco
Didn't get in his way.
The squirrel climbed right up
To a birdseed buffet.
A flange on the pole
Just slowed him down.
The squirrel shook the pole,
Knocked seed to the ground.
The angry retiree
Will try anything.
To avoid defeat
By this takeover king.
Chorus
The feeder was hung
By a rope from a tree.
But squirrels can climb ropes
When the birdseed is free.
A sheet metal barrier
Didn't stop him for long.
He gnawed through the rope
And he ate all day long.
So if you have wondered
Why the world's such a mess,
Look what men do
When they're doing their best.
Outsmarted by rodents,
Too proud to give in,
They use up their retirement
In a fight they can't win.
Chorus
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