"The Battle of the Squirrel and the CEO" genre: Folk
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	A retiree attempts to block a squirrel from the bird feeder. He fails. Mark Gramann sings the bass vocal and plays upright bass. Diana Cannon sings harmony. Marc Carraway plays mandolin.
	CD: That Squirrel Song   Label: AAGMNNR Recordings
	Story Behind the Song Every folksinger needs a song about his dad. This is one of mine. It might even be about your dad. Or about you... Lyrics The Battle of the Squirrel and the CEO © 1992 by R.A. Gramann Captain of industry, Corporate leader, Retired to the country, Set up a bird feeder. Finch-colored plumage, And not before eight, The chorus of birdsong Not boardroom debate. But the squirrels eat the birdseed Frighten finches away. The squirrels they get fat. They pig-out all day. Chased away from the feeder They're back when your gone. Scourge of retirees The fiends of the lawn. When you fight the squirrels, You get no holidays, No vacation, no weekend. The squirrels elude your grand designs. Each day they eat again. When you fight the squirrels, Don't let your guard down, Keep your wits sharp till the end. There's nothing else that matters, You've got that birdseed To defend. He put the birdfeeder Up on a pole. But that didn't deter The squirrel from his goal. A coating of Crisco Didn't get in his way. The squirrel climbed right up To a birdseed buffet. A flange on the pole Just slowed him down. The squirrel shook the pole, Knocked seed to the ground. The angry retiree Will try anything. To avoid defeat By this takeover king. Chorus The feeder was hung By a rope from a tree. But squirrels can climb ropes When the birdseed is free. A sheet metal barrier Didn't stop him for long. He gnawed through the rope And he ate all day long. So if you have wondered Why the world's such a mess, Look what men do When they're doing their best. Outsmarted by rodents, Too proud to give in, They use up their retirement In a fight they can't win. Chorus

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