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Max the Dorkmp3.com/Max_the_Dork

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    "Cyber"genre: Punk
    lo fi playlo fi play (dial-up)
    hi fi playhi fi play (broadband)
    downloaddownload (4.6 MB)
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    The Internet as Global Village, and this guy is just a gigolo.
    CD: Crapital Punishment   Label: 401 Records
    Credits: Words and Music by Bret Walker, Produced by Chris Schenk and Max the Dork

    Story Behind the Song
    I wrote the music for this when I was messing around with a DSP I was thinking of buying from a friend. I never bought that DSP, but I kept the song, and later wrote the lyrics to it based on a story I once wrote about a 13-year-old kid who went on the Internet posing as an adult, and seducing what he thought was beautiful lonely women (but who were in fact, 13-year-old kids just like him).

    Lyrics
    I'm all hunched over my keyboard at just past midnight
    Strung out on Mountain Dew and tanned with fluorescent light
    This is my manifesto of caustic filth and disease
    I get so much action for someone just thirteen

    Back in the real world, no one looks at or talks to me
    But I'm a God among the chatroom community
    At least that's what I believe

    I feel the sex drive surge through my caffeinated brain
    I see the shifting patterns in the chaotic rain
    I can touch you there and I know all the secrets inside
    Give yourself to me, you know there is nowhere to hide

    But it's all fantasy, part wish part speculation
    It's all just theory, but I get what I need and then some
    I've barely just begun

    I'm just one at school
    I've got nothing to do
    I've no one to see
    No one wants to be me
    In my sex starved brain
    The urge driving me insane
    I can't wait for tonight
    When everything is alright
    Online the better me
    I'm her fantasy
    And she will never be
    My reality

    I keep one hand on my keyboard to keep the other free
    She doesn't realize how young her lover can be
    Just a lonely housewife looking for her fantasy man
    I give her all that, and I take whatever I can

    If she knew the truth, there's no way I could get what I need
    But for all I know she's a pimply loser like me
    I drive the image from my mind, coz I need to see
    The stunning beauty who performs these acts just for me

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