"The Frightening Capt. Neal (Act 1 No5)" genre: Musicals/Broadway
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	The newsgroup complains of Capt. Neal's heavy yoke, but Tadpole points out that it’s their own fault: they're all in love with fighting with The Frightening Captain Neal. Capt Neal enters, expounding his simple philosophy of manliness, Real Sailing, misogyny and political incorrectness. He regards all as "putzes!", yet bends to his toilsome duty to educate them.
	MP3.com CD: The Internet Opera ROUGH CUTS - buy it! Credits: Words and music this version © 2000-2003 TJ Fatchen (Flying Tadpole)
	Story Behind the Song Refer to outline in http://www.internetopera.netfirms.com Lyrics Chorus: IT WAS EIGHT BELLS RINGING AND THE MORNING UPLOAD CLOSE AND THE LAPTOP SINGING AS HE POLISHED EVERY POST; EIGHT BELLS RINGING AND THE LAPTOP SINGING ON THE YELLOW BOAT A-SWINGING, THE YELLOW BOAT A-SWINGING AS HE POLISHED EVERY POST. OH TO WATCH OUR SCREENS A-LIGHTING! CAPTAIN NEAL! CAPTAIN NEAL! AND TO READ HIS POSTS A-BITING! CAPTAIN NEAL, CAPTAIN NEAL! OH TO WATCH OUR SCREENS A-LIGHTING AND READ HIS POSTS A-BITING! WE'RE ALL IN LOVE WITH FIGHTING, ALL IN LOVE WITH FIGHTING, WITH THE FRIGHT’NING CAPTAIN NEAL! IT WAS NOONTIDE RINGING , AND THE DOWNLOADING BEGUN HIS POSTS A-WINGING TO PUNISH EVERYONE. NOONTIDE RINGING, AND HIS POSTS A-WINGING, THEIR BODY-BLOWS A-BRINGING, BODY-BLOWS A-BRINGING TO PUNISH EVERY ONE. YOU CAN FIGHT HIM IF YOU'RE ABLE, CAPTAIN NEAL! CAPTAIN NEAL! YOU CAN HIDE BENEATH THE TABLE, CAPTAIN NEAL! CAPTAIN NEAL! YOU CAN FIGHT HIM IF YOU'RE ABLE, OR HIDE BENEATH THE TABLE, BUT HE'LL LIVE ON IN FABLE, HE'LL LIVE ON IN FABLE, AS THE FRIGHT'NING CAPTAIN NEAL! Capt. Neal: CAPTAIN OF THIS NEWSGROUP DIRE THESE LIBERAL LUBBERS RAISE MY IRE, YET FROM DUTY I’LL NOT TIRE TO DRAG THEM SCREAMING FROM THEIR MIRE. I, THE BEST THIS GROUP TO GUIDE, I’M U.S. COAST GUARD CERTIFIED. I'LL NOT SPARE THE THIN OF HIDE; MINCING WORDS I CAN’T ABIDE, SENSIBILITIES I PUSH ASIDE, SO THEY CALL ME, FAR AND WIDE, ENLIGHT’NING CAPTAIN NEAL! Chorus: JUST THE MODEM DRONING AT THE SETTING OF THE SUN, AN ODD SURVIVOR MOANING WHAT THE CAPTAIN'S GONE AND DONE. THE MODEM A-DRONING, THE ODD SURVIVOR MOANING, WHILE NEAL HE IS HOMING, NEAL HE IS HOMING, SOUTHWARD SAILING, VICTORY WON. OH TO WATCH OUR SCREENS A-LIGHTING! CAPTAIN NEAL! CAPTAIN NEAL! AND TO READ HIS POSTS A-BITING! CAPTAIN NEAL, CAPTAIN NEAL! OH TO WATCH OUR SCREENS A-LIGHTING AND READ HIS POSTS A-BITING, WE'RE ALL IN LOVE WITH FIGHTING, ALL IN LOVE WITH FIGHTING, WITH THE FRIGHT’NING CAPTAIN NEAL. (With apologies to Sir Henry Newbolt's "The Fighting Temeraire")

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