Story Behind the Song
Dirts favorite Line(s): I’m not gonna destroy the severity of this song by picking one.
Like the ‘Essence’ track I had this beat far in advance of recording, the idea was solid, but for some reason I couldn’t seem to get anything written for it. It wasn’t until the night before we recorded it that I let loose with the lyrics.
The idea of the whole song was to write about people that sin against us from our inner circle. Most people do us wrong but we shake it off. But it’s hard to forget when your own man stabs you in the back. So the concept was basically about the frailty of trusting even in a close companion. All men will fail you especially next to God. With this said, I had a hard time picking someone to write about. Messenger chose a person who tried to destroy his marriage, 2211 chose a close friends boyfriend that ended up being a jerk to her, but I couldn’t think of anyone that did me in the same fashion (I don’t hold grudges well).
Well the night before recording this one, I prayed about it. And I started crying because all I could think about was my dad. Just me calling him ‘dad’ is way too much credit for him. He left my mom before I was even born. I have grown up never seeing his face (my mom lost all pictures by the time I was old enough to remember them) or hearing his voice. I lacked a fatherly guidance. I lacked fatherly encouragement. I wasn’t even lucky enough to have a ‘bad’ father that beat me and abused me. I had NO father.
I wrote the lyrics in 40 minutes, and I couldn’t believe what I was penciling. All my life I hadn’t even thought about it much. When you don’t have something, you don’t miss it. It wasn’t really on the front of my brain because it was nonexistent. But here I was releasing a lot of suppressed feelings that I didn’t even know I had.
This song means a lot to me personally because it is really the only time in my life that I really thought about the effect this mans absence has had my life. It shaped me in ways that I had never realized. Mostly negative and evil character habits came about it except for one thing, I will never do the same to my own children or wife (and I rarely say ‘never’)! Most people don’t realize what I say at the end:‘and for Heather, Damajah, Sicah, and Sama (my wife and daughters)/ I’ll never give up, I’ll never give in/ for my my children, thank you Magnans’ (my Inlaws who taught me what it means to be a family).
Another line that means a lot to me is ‘I seen the same sin enslaving me/ the same chain trying to gain reign within me’. This is speaking about the generational curse passed down by someone who does this. When someone does this to you, you get bitter and have a higher chance of repeating the cycle. There were times in my marriage and fatherhood when I wanted to give up. Times got hard and I wanted to run. But I stuck to it through the quitting points and didn’t treat my wife and seeds like a chump!
Messenger was with us for about a week while we were recording. Him and me got some good fellowship and I was happy that he got to be with us in person as he recorded. Sadly, I have lost contact with him since but I look forward to meetin up again.
His verse was the perfect intro for the song. There’s always that debate on who ‘goes first and who goes last’. But there was no controversy with his verse. I love the way he comes in. and his backups cement the verse into the ‘Locust Hall of Fame’.
I get 50/50 feedback on 2211’s first ‘Locust’ appearance. Before I clear the record let me say that I personally love his verse and delivery. If I thought he came off weak I wouldn’t have put him on. The argument seems to be that his lyrics are cool but his delivery is lacking. The behind the scenes occurrence is that miscommunication caused him to write for this song to the wrong beat on the tape I sent him. So basically he wrote his junk to a faster beat which destroys all the rhyme patterns when you try to do it to a slower beat. Even so, I think he handled himself well so SHADDUP!
There was no money to bring him from California to New York so, like 7Lock, I had to send the tracks to him, he recorded locally, then sent them back. I think that sucks because it is impersonal but me and 22 are boys. We go back a bit and we know how to get over these cheesy hurdles!
Jendor had this beat before he came down to the pad to hook up some other tracks. I love the way he produces! If you listen to the ‘judgement day’ chorus it sounds like them guys are in the studio with us, singing, but in actuality he pulled the sample from some kiddie record with a bunch of country music. The western vibe of the sample is hidden by the way Jendor chops it up and places it in the main beat (you can hear what I mean at the end of the song when that chorus starts playing by itself as the beat fades out). You gotta love that!
For more song lyrics, stories, and interactive Dirt... check out www.intheholehegoes.com!
Lyrics
"Judahs Amongst Us"
(MESSENGER)
OUTTA LUCK, STUCK INNNA RUT, I JUST GAVE UP
WALKED AWAY FROM LIFE LIKE I HAD NO TIES TO LACE UP
YOU PLAYED ME LIKE CLOSE BROTHER BUT YOU STABBED ME
MOVED IN AS LIGHT BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT THE DARKNESS HAD ME
ENVIED MY FAMILY, COVETED A WOMAN WHO AINT YOURS
WITH INTENTS OF MOVIN' IN AS YOU WALKED THROUGH MY HOUSE'S DOORS
PAYED VISITS, MADE PHONE CALLS, WHEN MY CAR WAS GONE
SINKING YOUR CLUTHCHES DEEPER JUST TO MAKE ME MORE FAR GONE
WHISPER THINGS IN HER EAR TO MAKE HER HATE ME
ALL THE WHILE YOU SMILED TO MY FACE AS YOU BLATANTLY BETRAYED ME
I THOUGHT THE LOVE OF CHRIST WAS YOUR MAIN DRIVE
FOOLED BY YOUR WALK AS YOU HIT ME WITH MORE LIES
INSTEAD OF BRINGIN US BACK
YOU PUSHED US EVEN FARTHER
AND WHAT I THOUGHT WAS EASY, YOU MADE IT EVEN HARDER
BUT NOW I'M BACK WITH RIBBON SEEDS, AND ITS HARD FOR ME TO FACE YOU
BUT I SERVE A GOD WHO WON'T LET ME HATE YOU SO I PRAY FOR YOU
(Chorus)
Judgement day, whattya gonna do, on the judgement day
The hours of your life are quikly passing
(2211)
YO, 'ET TU, BRUTUS', OR ME AND YOU 'JUDAS'
ALWAYS CONVINCED IN MY MIND 'YOU BE THE MAN', LOCUST
NO TRUST, FOR THE EXCOMMUNICATED 12TH DISCIPLE
I CAUGHT A KNIFE-FULL, A SEGMENT OF YOUR LIFE, FOOL
OF ALL YOUR ACTIONS, MISTA, I CAN'T IMAGINE
PROSTITUTION OF YOUR HEART, I'M SHOCKED THAT YOU'D BE DABBLIN'
WITH REBELLION, SELLIN OUT WITHIN YOUR CABIN
YOUR BACKSTABBIN
TWAS MY MASTER YOU BETRAYED, THE ANCIENT OF DAYS
DON'T YOU REALIZED YOU GOT PLAYED
30 PIECES OF SILVER, WORST TRADE YOU EVER MADE
TREASURER, 'CAUSE WHAT WAS YOUR PLEASURE?
AND WHICH ETERNAL PRESENCE DID YOUR ESSENCE ENTER?
OR WILL IT? 'CUASE YOUR PRESENCE, I STILL FEEL IT
EVERY TIME SOMEONE I LOVE GETS KILLED, ITS HARD FOR ME TO WATCH THEM DIE
SLOWLY AND IN PAIN
'CAUSE THE 'ISCARIOT BETRAYING' IS LIKE AN UNEXPECTED RAIN
I CAN'T EXPLAIN, I MUST DETAINED, I NEED RESTRAINED
OR BODY PARTS WILL GET REARRANGED
'CAUSE I KNOW WHO 'JUDAS' IS, AND IT DRIVES ME INSANE
I FEEL DISDAINED, BUT I CAN'T RIP KIP IN VAIN
'CAUSE I KNOW FOR 'FAKE' AND 'REAL' MY MASTER WAS SLAINED
AND SO THUS, I POSE THE QUESTION, JUDAS
JUST WHEN'D YA TAKE THE FIRST STEP TO BETRAY US
(DIRT)
WHAT THE HECK IS THIS
I SCREAM AS I EXIT THE UTERUS
I SEEN BLOODY GLOVES N' NURSES, BUT DIRT IS FATHERLESS
TO FOLLOW THIS
GREW UP BLAMIN' GOD FOR ALL OF THIS
HEART WAS HEAVINESS
SO I TOOK THE HATE TO THE PAVEMENTS
MISBEGOTTEN…ILLEGITEMATE
COULD NEVER GET INTIMATE
WITH MAN OR GOD, BECAUSE OF IT
N' LIKE JOSEPH
THEY GRABBED THAT SON UP BY HIS THROAT
SPLASHED SOME BLOOD ON HIS COAT
N' SOLD HIM TO SLAVERY
I SEEN THE SAME SIN ENSLAVIN' ME
THE SAME CHAIN TRYIN TO GAIN REIGN WITHIN ME
TRYIN' TO SEND ME…OUTTA SYNC
N' THAT SAME SHIP THAT ALWAYS SINK
BUT THE BLOOD OF THE SON BREAK THE LINK
THAT TIE ME TO THIS
'CAUSE GOD IS DAD TO THE FATHERLESS' (Psalm 68:5)
(Out on chorus)
For more song lyrics, stories, and interactive Dirt... check out www.intheholehegoes.com!
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