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Lyrics
Defining your fatness is like unravelling the paths of human dna.
You have to just keep digging, like fat webby, digging to the bottom of the barrell.
The biscuit barrell, the ice cream tub, the bag of chips. Digging. Forever digging.
Now, I could go on about fatness all day long. But I wont. We have more interesting topics to
discuss. Like, for example, how one human being can defy the laws of gravity. Newton or whoever
would be turning over in his grave, or pot, or, again, whatever. Now, we many of us have
seen the Blockbuster movie, The Matrix and yer all wondering how they acheived those gravity
defying stunt effects. With a computer you say. No, no no no no no. Now I feel it is my duty to
bring to your attention the truth. The whole truth and nothing but the truth. The wachowski
brothers were told by Warner Brothers that inventing new computer wizardry, in the form of effects
no cost efficient. Constant no no knows. A low point was reached. A place which left Neo suspended
within the Matrix. This was all to change. The wachowski brothers were in England, in 1997,
exploring the sights, this grotesque country has to offer. Tramps, baked beans, the queen.. adreena
gig. Very fullfilling, yet unable to draw the depressing thoughts from the heads of Wachowski.
Becoming peckish, they decided to enter the nearby Smack Ronalds burger joint, with no
thoughts, except the inevitably bland burger. Ahh hah. Once inside they saw a crowd around the
table in the corner. Upon close inspection, they found a rather disturbing yet captivating sight.
A round man maybe a boy maybe a martian, sat eating burgers like a pig on speed. He was just
throwing them down his throat. Pig Martian stood up, in a dizzingly way, looked around at the
observers, then stumbled on the chair. He fell. He fell in an unusual way, i e he fell at the
speed of feather, he kept falling, and falling, but he only tripped once. The audience were rubbing
there eyes in disbelief. He had still not reached the floor and already 12 seconds had passed.
Once on the floor, wachowskis approach pig martian and ask if he'd do that again. He accepted, on
grounds that he were to be bought another 23 wig wack burgers. This time as he fell, wachowski
a walked around pig martian while he was falling, with his hand held video camera. Got it.
The Bullet time effect has been created at minimal expense, except those damned wig wack burgers.
The film was made, conquered and extended upon. All thanks to a Pig Martian, named Webb.
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