| Story Behind the Song
 This is one of a handful of songs that developed over many years.  I came up with the chorus lyrics in '89.  The verses came rushing to me (in the shower) in the spring of '95.  A version was recorded at that time with John Lilley on keys and sequenced drums at Houghton College.  A bridge came to me around May '96, which I would later edit with Duane's help.
 This is another tune that Duane went to work on in my absence, so all I had to do was collaborate at a distance and come in and lay down the vocals.  The vocals were actually enough of a job in this tune.  It turned out slightly differently than I had envisioned, but it is well-produced and a favorite of many.
 LyricsThere are times you give me every indication
 that you are happy just to walk on
 by my side.  Then those times when I would
 give my invitation, and without a word
 you steal away all of my pride and joy.
 
 Chorus:
 (That's why) I'm afraid to hope to be with you, but I'm more afraid to be without you,
 And I'm most afraid of not hoping at all.
 -Repeat...Not hoping at all
 
 Well I might understand if I'd known you
 for just a short while, why you would
 act so nonchalant, yeah so carefree.
 But I have been with you, my girl
 for such a long time now, that I'd sure appreciate if you'd explain to me...
 (Why I'm so afraid...)
 Chorus
 
 Bridge:
 How can I compete with your desires?
 Am I just another man for hire?
 When you're in the mood for my company,
 Or when your confidence has had a beating.
 That's not my game, but it's yours
 And I've played.  It shouldn't
 come as a surprise to you...
 
 That now whenever I am contemplating calling
 I get this strange, uneasy feeling
 in the pit of my heart.
 Because to hear you say,
 "Maybe I will, and maybe I won't,"
 Makes me want to go before I stop to think
 and stop before I start.
 
 Chorus (repeat)
 
 |