"BLAIR NEWS PROJECT" genre: Satire
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	Jayson Blair is Back writing for the Times!
	MP3.com CD: GOOD EATS! - buy it! Label: GraboTunes Credits: Bryan Tupper, Steven Grabo
	Story Behind the Song This is the first of a series of 'Blairinisims' - which is a term we've developed for creating bizarre news stories and passing them off as reality. Lyrics The Blair News Project Bryan Tupper/Steven Grabo Misplaced Comedy Group 5/03 (SFX: newsroom – typewriters etc… ambient noise) Angry News Director: “BLAIR!!! BLAIR! …Where’s That Jayson Blair!” JB: Here sir! I’m over here! AND: Get in my office now!! (SFX: door closes – ambient newsroom gets muffled…but still audible) JB: You wanted to see me sir? AND: YEAH! …WHERE”S that news story you promised! I’ve been holding Page 8 Headlines for this story… and I haven even seen anything from you! What’s the deal here… I need to your story NOW! Or I’ll be forced to run with the Impregnating Alien invaders raping widowed grandmothers at the homeless shelter! JB: I’ll get right on it! AND: ON WHAT, BLAIR!! Give me something…Anything! Tell me what you’re on… JB: Well, I’ve had a taste of mescaline, and snorted some… AND: NO!!!! NOT THAT! Tell me the story you’re working on… JB: Ok… Well, It’s an “Adventure Piece” (Harp gliss… as if in a dream sequence…) JB: About 2 boys… riding a raft… not the kind you can blow up… But they actually made this raft by hand… and they’re riding a steady stream when the current of the river… (PLAGERIZE HUCK FINN SOMEWHERE – Homework) AND: (SFX: -SMACK!) Snap Out of It MAN! That’s Huck Finn! You Idiot! You know we can get sued for something like that! And lose our abilities to ever work again in the Mass Media if we published something like that! Tell me you have at least something… Something at least printable… JB: Ok… how about this one… JB: This one is a “think Piece” (SFX: harp gliss again as if dream sequence) JB: … There’s this small town called Never Never Land… AND: Where is this place… I’ve Never… never heard of it… JB: Ohhh… It’s outside Queens… AND: Ohh… ok… Continue… JB: You see there’s this guy Pete and he saved this whole family of children From this serial killer who’s code name was “The Hook!” AND: Really… JB: Yeah! …and he had help from this little fairy named Tinkerbell… AND: Sounds Like a Winner! It has heroes, villains… It’s Family oriented …and it even caters to the homosexual population! A real true story! A story like that SELLS, Blair…it may even get bumped up to page 3!! JB: Thanks sir. AND: Good work, son… Now, GET OUT OF MY OFFICE… and start writing! JB: You got it! It’ll be ready by this morning’s deadline! (Door Slam) AND: (Fade out) Tell, Jimmy that his story on Iraq got bumped again… Yeah! We got a real headline this time…

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