Story Behind the Song
Inspired by end of relationship. Written at school during 2nd semester @ Orono. Lyrics written in a week, music in a day. One day recording.
Lyrics
I've always told ya how you radiate not intending a word play
no such thing as chemotherapy will fix what you did to me
my mind is broken... I cannot think straight without chokin'
I've given up being stepped on, I just replay how you hoaxed me.
We've got to move on past that stage where all we do is behave
You could not get enough, desire keeps keeping you amazed.
I swear that you were one step short of calling me a burden,
Instead making excuses bout how you had been uncertain.
We reached the end of that war and you cried 'free at last'
About a minute later realizing it's not as good as the past.
When I said have a nice life, that meant I'd never be back,
it meant what was there was there but's not cuz it wouldn't last.
I'll call it dignity that prevents you from gettin' to me.
I could look at what we've been through but I'd rather resent you.
To blame is for the weak and I like to think I'm unique
So why should I crawl back if I can walk away just fine.
Chorus:
I wish that I could soon begin to see
that you are not a neccessary need
I can't realize that without you I will still breath
when these tears dry away, I will see clearly
I don't make many metaphors, for some things they never stop.
There was a day when my words sounded like new kids on the block.
Then I went through this event, no longer would I pretend
that I was in a position where with the depressed I could consent.
Positivity was found hiding for months underground.
I felt emotions like others that they had never wrote down.
Putting these rhymes to paper became my lone savior.
With music I express whatever I need off my chest.
I thought I'd test this, just gimme a rest miss.
Yellin' at me for not knowin bout allegations you were throwin.
Tellin me I was at fault I told myself no, not at all.
You were the one who hid the truth as well as forgot to call.
So make me fall, pin the guilt trip all over me.
Deny being in denial like you're thinking soberly.
I wasn't worth the sacrifices, so hit me like dionysis.
Transformed to idealistic just like a weak-willed pisces.
Greek god or constellation, I now live with hesitation
tryin' not to get burnt surrounded by greed and impatience.
Life's so vacant with my wall that's been free of pictures.
Since I realized everyone showed the harmony between us.
That demeans us I don't need to see how good it was
Or pretend there was a way that I shoulda or coulda cuz
I was going to bed, torment wrenchin through my head
wondering what went wrong or what it was left unsaid.
You stopped smiling, and that's what fueled our existence
Bein unhappy was the cause causing me your resistance
Nobody listens, well that's exactly where you're wrong
Remember when I was around I listened to every single song.
Chorus 2x
I don't believe that your presence will ever leave my mind
in order for me to move on, I'll look past ya this time
it's time for me to seek mine and time to write a deep rhyme
someday we may even meet again down the line
I'm no longer silent, I'm all done cryin'
I know you understand this
and that it's not like we planned it
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