"Spider Fan's Lament" genre: General Comedy
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	A plea for God to not allow the producers of the Spider-Man movie (released over a year ago... it's kinda old...) repeat the comic-book-movie mistakes of the past... The song was originally released about six month to a year before the movie.
	Credits: Written/Performed by Mikey Mason
	Story Behind the Song Originally written as a letter to Rob Worley of Comics2Film.com fame (http://ww.Comics2Film.com), but quickly changed to be a fanboy's plea to God himself to lay his protections upon the sacred name of Spider-Man. It reflects fan responses to rumors and gossip which were circulationg about the movie at the time. Lyrics You know, God, I've been thinking 'Bout this Spider-Man flick that they're makin', And I'm not so sure it's a good idea, And some night's I just wake up shakin'. With the history and the track record Of the Marvel movies we've been sent, I think You can easily understand Why I sing the Spider-Fan's Lament. See, I've heard all these rumors, and don't get me wrong, I've waited for this movie since I was 10... But I just don't think Spidey's gonna a be as lucky, As Brian Singer's X-Men... Cause where the hell's Bruce Campbell, Since Sam Raimi's doing the honors? Sam's weaseling about, shutting poor Brucie out, And casting his brother as Connors (Connors is the Lizard, for any of you aren't keeping up... And Sam's brother, Ted, plays Joxer on Xena. Funny? Yes. Lizard? ummm... No.) And Mary Jane Watson! Sweet Mary Jane! What the hell's wrong with this world, When they'd fill the shoes of a supermodel With an actress who's built like a 10 year old girl!?! (Noooooooooo!) Alicia Witt? Mena Suvari? Shut up! We all know that Brooke Shields should have been Mary Jany Watson 15 freakin' years ago! And speaking of which, where's Gwen Stacy? The Green Goblin IS the villain, right? And I guess the role's out of Malkovich's range, Dafoe must be slumming in his sights! There's too many people involved in this film, It all just keeps building my fears, So many people who couldn't find a thing wrong With a skinny Captain America with rubber ears! So please, God, please! If they make this movie, Don't let 'em screw Spidey too much... Don't let Tobey quit, and open the role up to Kilmer and Clooney and such! Organic web shooters! Perish the thought! And the guy who turned down Alex Ross should be shot! And don't give him nipples or ears that are fake, And please don't let Raimi make the mistake of casting an actor like Gene Hackman as Doc Ock, What a schlock! Oh please, hear my prayer... Say no to Spider-Slayer... And if James Cameron ever touches this movie, please God, let Leonardo Dicaprio die a quick and merciful death shortly before Cameron gets his hands on it... And God, while I'v got Your attention, please don't let Dolph Lundgren ever play any superhero again. And don't let Daredevil be re-written until he's just a near-sighted legal aide in a ski mask taking on fat convenience store moguls, okay? Amen.

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