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Lyrics
(As ROXANE reads his note.)
DE GUICHE
A DISTANT DRUMMER CALLS THE TROOPS TO BATTLE.
I'VE TOLD THEM I MUST SCOUT THE SCENE.
I'LL FACE THE ENEMY BUT THEY'LL BE THERE AHEAD OF ME.
RIGHT NOW I'M WITH THE MONKS OF CAPUCHIN.
ROXANE
OH, NO!
CYRANO/CHRISTIAN/MAUD
WHAT DOES IT SAY?
ROXANE
THERE'S MORE!
(She turns the page over.)
DE GUICHE
THIS RISKY BUSINESS MUST BE KEPT A SECRET.
NOBODY HAS THE SLIGHTEST CLUE.
THE MONK IS UNAWARE I COME TO WED MY LADY FAIR.
BUT HE'LL BE USEFUL WHEN WE SAY "I DO!"
(DE GUICHE and CUIGY exit.)
ROXANE
I DON'T.
(CYRANO, CHRISTIAN and MAUD look on anxiously as ROXANE folds the letter.)
MAUD
ROXANE?
CYRANO
WHAT DOES IT–?
ROXANE
TROOPS ARE MARCHING FOR THE FRONT NOW.
CHRISTIAN
WHAT?
CYRANO
WE HAD NO ORDERS.
CHRISTIAN
NO!
ROXANE
YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONES TO STAY BEHIND.
DE GUICHE IS NOW IN HIDING.
MAUD
THE WEASEL.
ROXANE
HE PLANS TO MARRY ME.
CYRANO/CHRISTIAN/MAUD
NO!
ROXANE
I HAVE SOMEONE ELSE IN MIND!
(She takes CHRISTIAN by the hand. He smiles.)
CYRANO
ROXANE, I FEAR YOU'RE BEING MUCH TOO HASTY.
ROXANE
THE TIME FOR ACTION IS AT HAND.
CHRISTIAN
AT HAND.
MAUD
AT HAND.
MAUD/CHRISTIAN
AT HAND.
CYRANO
ROXANE!
ROXANE
THE MONK KNOWS NOTHING OF THE CONTENTS OF THIS LETTER.
SO WE BETTER ACT WHILE HE'S AT OUR COMMAND!
CYRANO
THERE'S SOMETHING YOU REALLY NEED TO KNOW.
CHRISTIAN
I'LL GO AND TELL THE MONK THAT WE'RE TO MARRY.
ROXANE
GOOD.
(CHRISTIAN exits.)
MAUD
I'LL LIGHT THE CANDLES IN THE HALL.
ROXANE
AND ICE THE CHAMPAGNE.
MAUD
I'LL READY IT ALL.
(MAUD exits.)
ROXANE
CHEER UP, DEAR CYRANO, YOU'RE COMING TO MY WEDDING.
CYRANO
BUT I'M DREADING THAT YOU'RE HEADING FOR A FALL.
ROXANE
WHEN MY CHRISTIAN'S LETTERS FIRST CAME MY WAY,
SOME THINGS I WASN'T SURE OF.
BUT HIS ACTIONS CHASED ALL DOUBT FROM MY MIND,
I'VE NEVER KNOWN SUCH PURE LOVE.
WHEN HE HOLDS ME CLOSE TO HIS BREAST,
ALL OF THE REST LIFE HAS TO OFFER SIMPLY FALLS AWAY.
WHAT MORE CAN I SAY?
HE HAS SUCH A WAY WITH WORDS.
OF HIS MYRIAD EXPRESSIONS,
ANY PHRASE THAT YOU MAY CHOOSE IS BOUND TO MISS
DESCRIBING JUST ONE KISS. AND SO I'LL SAY JUST THIS:
AWAY WITH WORDS, FOR IN LOVE THEY HOLD NO MEANING.
NOT A POEM IN THE WORLD CAN CONVEY THE BEAUTY OF HIS FACE,
MY THRILL AT HIS EMBRACE.
(CYRANO turns away, once again crushed.)
IS SOMETHING WRONG?
CYRANO
NO.
ROXANE
YOU TURN AWAY.
CYRANO
SO?
ROXANE
SO SOMETHING'S WRONG.
(CYRANO turns to face her.)
CYRANO
I'M SIMPLY THINKING OF A WAY TO STALL DE GUICHE.
HE'LL SOON BE HERE.
ROXANE
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
CYRANO
BUT NEVER FEAR.
ROXANE
NOT WHILE YOU'RE HERE.
CYRANO
JUST GIVE ME YOUR KERCHIEF AND THAT ENVELOPE.
I'LL BE ON MY WAY. GO, THEN, ELOPE.
(She hands him her kerchief and the envelope.)
ROXANE
HOW CAN I THANK YOU?
CYRANO
JUST BE HAPPY.
ROXANE
YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD FRIEND.
CYRANO
DON'T GET SAPPY.
ROXANE
JUST ONE LITTLE KISS.
(She goes to kiss his cheek but he pulls away.)
CYRANO
THERE'S NO TIME FOR THIS!
(He hastily exits. DE GUICHE, disguised with a ball mask and CUIGY, in a much-too-short monk's cassock enter, crossing the stage purposefully. CYRANO, who's tied ROXANE'S kerchief around his nose by way of ineffectual disguise, dashes on, overtakes the duo, and stands blocking DE GUICHE.)
CYRANO
(With "outrageous French accent.")
PARDON ME, GENTLEMEN, BUT CAN YOU TELL ME
WHERE I MIGHT FIND THE COUNT DE GUICHE?
CUIGY
STATE YOUR BUSINESS.
(DE GUICHE elbows CUIGY in the belly.)
DE GUICHE
NOW, BROTHER, WHY SO BLUNT?
(To CYRANO.)
I HEAR HE'S HEADED FOR THE FRONT
TO ANALYZE THE PLAN BEHIND THE SIEGE.
CUIGY
THERE YOU ARE, THEN, VAMOOSE!
(CYRANO keeps pace with DE GUICHE and they tread the outer perimeter of the stage counter clockwise, making sharp, military turns at each corner.)
CYRANO
IT'S QUITE IMPORTANT, SIRS, THAT I SHOULD FIND HIM.
DE GUICHE
WHY?
CYRANO
I HAVE SOME TANTALIZING NEWS.
CUIGY
YOU DO?
CYRANO
INDEED.
DE GUICHE
WHAT KIND OF NEWS?
CYRANO
A WRITTEN OUT CONFESSION OF A NOBLE'S INDISCRETION:
JUST THE SORT OF NEWS DE GUICHE MIGHT USE.
CUIGY
YOU HEAR THAT, BOSS?
(DE GUICHE glares at CUIGY.)
DE GUICHE
(To CYRANO.)
HAVE YOU NOT AN OUNCE OF SHAME, SIR?
CYRANO
AM I TO BLAME, SIR, IF CERTAIN INFORMATION COMES MY WAY?
DE GUICHE
WE'VE REACHED OUR DESTINATION.
WE MUST NOW BID ADIEU. BROTHER WILL PRAY FOR YOU.
CYRANO
ON MY ACCOUNT, SIR, THERE'S NO NEED FOR PRAYER.
(DE GUICHE raises his hand to knock.)
THE LORD MOVES IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS.
(CYRANO flashes the envelope before DE GUICHE'S face.)
DE GUICHE
WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?
CYRANO
WHEN NEWS IS HALF THIS BITTER, I'M ASSURED A HEFTY BIDDER.
FOR SUCH NEWS SOMEBODY ALWAYS PAYS.
CUIGY
(To DE GUICHE.)
THE DEVIL HAS YOU IN HIS GRASP!
DE GUICHE
I WON'T ASSIST YOU IN YOUR BLACKMAIL SCHEME, SIR.
BUT I CAN SEE THAT YOU'RE IN NEED.
CYRANO
BUT NOT FOR LONG I'LL WAGER.
DE GUICHE
TEN FRANCS SHOULD SEE YOU THROUGH THE NIGHT,
IF YOU WILL DO WHAT'S RIGHT.
SO HAND IT OVER AND RENOUNCE YOUR GREED.
CYRANO
WELL, IF YOU PUT IT THAT WAY...
(HE considers the offer, then shakes his head.)
KIND SIR, I MUST DECLINE YOUR GENEROUS OFFER
OR YOU MIGHT THINK THIS SQUIRE DUMB.
DE GUICHE
I THINK YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT.
CYRANO
THE OFFER THAT YOU TENDER, TRUE, WOULD STAKE ME TO A BENDER
BUT THE SENDER PAYS A HIGHER SUM.
(CYRANO starts away. CUIGY blocks him. He tries another way but is blocked again.)
CYRANO
BROTHER?
CUIGY
YES?
CYRANO
DO YOU KNOW HOW TO MAKE A CAPUCHIN CROSS?
CUIGY
NO.
CYRANO
YOU STOMP ON HIS FOOT!
(CYRANO does and runs off.)
DE GUICHE
GET THAT LETTER!
(CUIGY and DE GUICHE go after CYRANO. CUIGY hops, holding his foot with one hand and trying to keep his cassock down with the other. A merry chase ensues down every possible route through the theatre until all end up center stage: CUIGY and DE GUICHE exhausted. Mendelssohn's wedding march from Midsummer Night's Dream sounds and CHRISTIAN and ROXANE enter, hand-in-hand, gazing fondly into each other's eyes, MAUD close behind. CYRANO hands DE GUICHE the letter.)
CYRANO
(Natural voice.)
YOU BETTER TAKE THE TIME TO READ THE LETTER.
(HE removes his kerchief.)
I THINK YOU'RE IN FOR A SURPRISE.
DE GUICHE
CYRANO!
CYRANO
YES!
CUIGY
BIG NOSE!
(DE GUICHE pulls the letter from the envelope.)
DE GUICHE
THREE CHEERS THE BRIDE AND GROOM?
EXACTLY JUST WHO'S MARRIED WHOM?
CYRANO
THE HAPPY COUPLE STANDS BEFORE YOUR EYES!
DE GUICHE
BUT...
ROXANE
BUT WHAT?
(DE GUICHE removes his mask and shakes CHRISTIAN'S hand.)
DE GUICHE
CONGRATULATIONS ARE IN ORDER, CHRISTIAN.
CHRISTIAN
WELL, THANKS.
DE GUICHE
NOW KINDLY KISS YOUR WIFE GOOD BYE.
ROXANE
GOOD BYE?
MAUD
GOOD BYE?
CYRANO
GOOD BYE?
CHRISTIAN
BUT WHY?
DE GUICHE
THE GUARDS ARE OFF TO WAR: OFF TO THE FRONT WHERE CANNONS ROAR.
CHRISTIAN
THE GUARDS HAVE NOT RECEIVED THEIR ORDERS, SIR.
DE GUICHE
NICE TRY.
(DE GUICHE takes the orders from his pocket and slaps them into CHRISTIAN'S hand.)
DE GUICHE
TELL THE MEN THEY'RE OFF TO BATTLE.
MAUD
OH, NO!
(ROXANE embraces CHRISTIAN).
DE GUICHE
GO HERD THE CATTLE. TOO BAD YOUR WEDDING NIGHT MUST BE DELAYED.
CYRANO
(To himself.)
I FIND THAT THOUGHT CONSOLING.
ROXANE
YOU MUST STAY HERE WITH ME.
CHRISTIAN
ROXY, DON'T BE AFRAID.
DE GUICHE
I HATE TO ALTER SUCH A MOVING PICTURE
BUT THERE ARE SPANIARDS NOW TO TAME.
CHRISTIAN
I HAVE TO GO.
ROXANE
MY LOVE, I KNOW.
(CHRISTIAN runs off.)
DE GUICHE
I LEAVE WITH NO HARD FEELINGS.
ROXANE
WHY HAVE YOU BETRAYED ME SO?
DE GUICHE
ROXANE, I SIMPLY BEAT YOU AT YOUR GAME.
CUIGY
WHAT A SORE LOSER!
(CUIGY and DE GUICHE jauntily exit.)
ROXANE
IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, MAUD, I NEED A MOMENT.
I HAVE TO SPEAK TO MY OLD FRIEND.
MAUD
WHATEVER YOU WISH, DEAR.
(MAUD exits.)
ROXANE
SINCE FATE HAS REARED ITS UGLY HEAD
AND ALL MY LOVE HAS TURNED TO DREAD,
ON YOU MY HOPES AND DREAMS DEPEND.
CYRANO
YOU CAN TRUST ME.
ROXANE
PLEASE DO WHAT YOU CAN TO SEE THAT HE'S SAFE.
CYRANO
AS FAR AS I AM ABLE.
ROXANE
MAKE SURE THAT NO WOMEN TEMPT HIM TO STRAY.
CYRANO
I'LL SEE YOUR LOVE IS STABLE.
ROXANE
MAKE SURE THAT HE WRITES EVERY DAY.
MAYBE THAT WAY WE'LL BOTH GET THROUGH THIS.
CYRANO
ON THAT YOU CAN RELY.
ROXANE
YOU PROMISE?
CYRANO
CROSS MY HEART AND HOPE TO DIE!
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