Lyrics
ROXANE
I HAVEN'T YET READ YOUR LATEST.
CHRISTIAN
MY LATEST?
ROXANE
SILLY BOY. LATEST LETTER.
(She takes the letter from her blouse.)
CHRISTIAN
OH, THAT THING.
ROXANE
NOW, DON'T START PLAYING COY. I'VE LOVED ALL OF THEM.
CHRISTIAN
ALL? JUST HOW MANY?
ROXANE
(Suspiciously.)
TWO A DAY.
CHRISTIAN
YES, THAT'S RIGHT. I LOST COUNT. GUESS I JUST GOT SWEPT AWAY.
ROXANE
YOU SURPRISED ME. THE CONTENT: I FOUND IT VERY BOLD.
CHRISTIAN
DIDN'T MEAN TO BE FORWARD, REMEMBER I'M A SOLDIER.
ROXANE
EROTIC.
CHRISTIAN
Erotic?
ROXANE
SO PASSIONATELY DRAWN.
CHRISTIAN
HOPE I DIDN'T OFFEND.
ROXANE
AU CONTRAIRE, YOU TURNED ME ON.
EACH LETTER'S LIKE A FIRE INFLAMING MY DESIRE,
TAKING ME HIGHER AND HIGHER,'TIL I CAN'T STAND IT.
CHRISTIAN
IF YOUR LOVE'S TOO STRONG TO TAME, IF WHAT I WROTE'S TO BLAME
FOR THIS DELIGHTFUL FLAME, I'M GLAD I FANNED IT.
ROXANE
I MUST CONFESS THAT THOSE LETTERS
PUT THOUGHTS INTO MY HEAD.
CHRISTIAN
WELL, I HOPE SO.
ROXANE
WHILE READING THEM, CURLED UP IN MY BED...
NO, I MUSTN'T...
CHRISTIAN
PLEASE TELL ME.
ROXANE
I FIND MYSELF OBSESSED: JUST ONE THING
ON MY MIND AS I'M LYING THERE UNDRESSED.
I FEEL A LITTLE TIPSY. GOT TO GET A GRIP.
SEE, I CAN HEAR YOUR LIPS SPEAK WHAT YOU'VE WRITTEN.
CHRISTIAN
DEAR ROXANE, THE NIGHT IS YOUNG. I LIKE WHAT YOU'VE BEGUN,
BUT I BELIEVE MY TONGUE SHOULD NOW BE BITTEN.
(They kiss with comic passion.)
ROXANE
PLEASE SPEAK THE WORDS.
CHRISTIAN
SPEAK WHAT WORDS? OH, THOSE STUPID LETTERS.
(She breaks their embrace.)
ROXANE
OH, SO THEY'RE STUPID NOW?
CHRISTIAN
NO, BUT DON'T YOU LIKE THIS BETTER?
(He tries to grab her but she sidesteps him.)
ROXANE
YOU DIDN'T WRITE THEM. ADMIT IT.
THEY'RE COPIED FROM A BOOK.
CHRISTIAN
NO, YOU'VE GOT IT ALL WRONG.
ROXANE
HEY, I KNOW WHEN I'VE BEEN TOOK!
CHRISTIAN
ROXANE, I MUST EXPLAIN.
ROXANE
MY HEAD'S ATHROB WITH PAIN.
CHRISTIAN
THIS WHOLE THING'S GONE INSANE.
ROXANE
YOU BETTER LEAVE ME.
CHRISTIAN
NOT UNTIL I'VE CLEARED THE AIR.
ROXANE
YOU REALLY THINK I CARE?
CHRISTIAN
COME ON, IT'S ONLY FAIR.
ROXANE
YOU'D JUST DECEIVE ME.
I KNOW A FAKE WHEN I SEE ONE: AND YOU'RE ONE.
MY HEART WOULD BREAK IF I HAD TO ENDURE ONE.
LIARS ARE BORN THAT WAY: NO WAY TO CURE ONE.
I NEED SOME SLEEP. LET YOURSELF OUT WHEN YOU'RE DONE!
(She hurriedly exits. CHRISTIAN looks after her for a moment, then opens the door and steps outside closing it behind him. CYRANO enters.)
CYRANO
Well, how did it go?
CHRISTIAN
YOU'VE BLOWN MY CHANCES. SHE HATES ME.
CYRANO
SHE HATES YOU?
CHRISTIAN
THANKS TO YOU AND YOUR LETTERS.
CYRANO
MY LETTERS?
CHRISTIAN
THEY'VE MADE HER ALL ECSTATIC, ERRATIC...
CYRANO
THAT'S GOOD.
CHRISTIAN
SHE WAS REALLY HOT TO TROT.
(CYRANO's first instinct is to slug CHRISTIAN for his offense but he realizes this is good news.)
CYRANO
THEN OUR MISSION'S ACCOMPLISHED.
CHRISTIAN
MOST DEFINITELY NOT!
THE GIRL'S IN LOVE BUT SHE IS NOT IN LOVE WITH ME.
IT'S FOR HER FRIEND, C.B., THAT SHE'S ALL QUEASY.
CYRANO
WOW, I KNEW I HAD A FLAIR. THAT'S WHY I TOOK YOUR DARE.
BUT NOW IT SEEMS UNFAIR. IT WAS TOO EASY.
CHRISTIAN
GO IN AND TELL HER THE TRUTH.
CYRANO
WHILE YOU'VE GOT HER IN A STATE? NO THE TIMING'S ALL WRONG.
CHRISTIAN
BUT TOMORROW IS TOO LATE.
CYRANO
WHY IS THAT?
CHRISTIAN
I'M SO HORNY.
CYRANO
I WARN YE...
CHRISTIAN
YOU'RE A PRUDE.
CYRANO
YOU ARE LEWD.
CHRISTIAN
BUT YOU'RE SHREWD. SO JUST TELL ME WHEN SHE'LL KNOW.
CYRANO
THE TIMING MUST BE RIGHT: A NIGHT MUCH LIKE TONIGHT
BENEATH THE PALE MOONLIGHT. THEN I CAN TELL HER.
CHRISTIAN
I KNOW WE'VE JUST HAD A ROW BUT TO YOUR SKILL SHE'LL BOW.
I SAY THE TIME IS NOW. I KNOW YOU'LL SELL HER.
CYRANO
WHY NOT TONIGHT?
CHRISTIAN
THERE YOU GO!
CYRANO
BUT YOU MUST DO ALL THAT I TELL YOU TO DO.
CHRISTIAN
SURE, I TRUST YOU.
CYRANO
YOU'LL SPEAK MY WORDS BUT I'LL BE THERE TO THINK FIRST.
CHRISTIAN
(Frightened.)
IF I'M TO SPEAK LIKE YOU I'LL NEED A DRINK FIRST!
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