"Menards" genre: General Comedy
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	Dedicated to all friendly salespeople who are misunderstood by their clients. (No, I don't actually work at Menards).
	Story Behind the Song Tyler Goen on all. Special thanks to Jeff and Erin. If you're not familiar with Menards, you probably don't live in the midwest United States. However, I'm told the song is still funny despite this. Lyrics V1: I'm a (salesman/hardware pimp) of a hardware store we get lots of customers we can't ignore usually we'll help them and things go swell for the sicko ones, this story ravels... this girl came up to me with all the right questions she sought: advice, tips, and suggestions but she was shy and it was a pity 'cause this valued customer was oh-so-pretty bein' an employee, i said "how can I help you?" she said she was fine and tried to cut through i stopped her and said "ma'am no, i insist!" so she got out her massive list she knew she wanted her flowers to blossom she wanted weed killer but it would cost some [she] said, "I've planted daisys but they haven't grown" so I asked her if her lawn was mowed Chorus: and so she kicked me in Menards why did she kick me in Menards? yeah she kicked me in Menards i'm drivin' this girl out of Menards V2: [she] had a broken lightbulb and she had a new one she was too short to replace it, so it couldn't get done she needed a sturdy ladder so she wouldn't rock it i said "we've got the wood if you've got the socket" Chorus: so she kicked me in Menards why did she kick me in Menards? she has the best aim here, by far i'm drivin' this girl out of Menards V3: she took out a picture of all her old chairs said "the paint is chipping fast, can I find new ones .. there?" i had to admit, her old ones were hip so I asked her instead if she wanted to strip (...and repaint them!) Chorus: she kicked me in Menards why did she kick me in Menards? she has the best aim here, by far i'm drivin' this girl out of Menards Bridge 1: why didn't she leave? why didn't she leave? why didn't she leave? i think.. she likes me! V4: we sold the lawnmower, the ladder and the stripper i carried them out for her, she was a good tipper near the trunk she said "there's one thing more" she asked for my number... the number to the store to get me fired! Bridge 2: why do these bad things always happen to me? I'm paid to help them I can't let them be (would you like the extended warranty?) i'm a good guy and I can be their friends but lately I just get a kick out of them Chorus: yeah, she kicked me [in / out of] Menards why did she kick me [in / out of] Menards? they won't let me in, i'm already barred this girl is drivin' me out of Menards.

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