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    "Two Ton Paperweight"  Parental Advisorygenre: Heavy Metal
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    This here song is about Josh's very first car.
    Label: Psychostick
    Credits: Psychostick

    Lyrics
    My car is a PIECE OF SHIT!
    I wanna drive you off a cliff
    Watch you crash into a ravine
    For the things you did to me, you...

    STUPID CAR!
    I wanna make myself a pipe bomb
    Blow yer damn engine back to hell
    Where I know you're from.
    Piece of JUNK!
    You aren't even worth the tow
    To a junkyard or a place
    Where you'd sit and lay to waste, I...

    WISH YOU'D DIE!
    Oh nevermind, you always do.
    Could you tell me how much longer it will be
    Until I'm rid of you?

    I wish that you'd just get hit by lightning (or something)
    My confidence in you is sold with every part I buy
    I guess I'm just a sucker with a lemon
    So pucker up and kiss another paycheck goodbye!

    You leak more than a newborn baby
    I change you oil all the time but STILL you need some more
    Your fluid puddles come in assorted colors
    Such wonderous variety of problems galore

    Will there be a time
    When I know I can drive
    Without my car breaking down?

    And will I ever see
    It start consistently
    Without the pain and the suffering

    My car is a PIECE OF SHIT!
    I ought to give you a swift kick
    In the muffler, in the tire
    Or where ever I desire you...

    STUPID CAR!
    You never get me very far when
    You decide driving to the store is a mortal sin

    PIECE OF CRAP!
    I guess you want a piece of me
    Since you're leaving all your pieces
    In the middle of the street

    You heap of JUNK!
    I don't know what I'm gonna do
    I just hope that I don't have to take another day of driving you

    I swear you must be older than my grandma (and she's dead)
    The fact you run at all is quite a mystery to me
    Your miles are approaching seven digits
    May God have mercy on the soul that's holding the key

    I'm guess I'm just a little angry
    But for some reason, getting stranded kinda chaps my hide.
    You probably think I'm slightly overreacting
    Has your car ever made you think about suicide?

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