"Asher"  Parental Advisory genre: Alternative Hip Hop
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	This is a song about suicide. You may find it a bit disturbing. Or, you may find it a bit funny.
	Story Behind the Song This song was written in 2003. It was inspired by the newsgroup alt.suicide.holiday. Lyrics Gonna get a gun and kill myself 'cause I'm sick to the bone If you feel the same way, let me tell you that you're not alone I had a bunch of friends that died But instead of mouring the loss I'd rather join 'em on the bus ride I thought I found a drug that kills Somebody on a web-site sellin' cyanide pills But it was fake, and I'm still awake I don't believe this, another mistake! I'm sick of all the same old crap from the shrink These right-to-lifers, they don't understand the way that we think They say that we're ill, that we should take a pill They wanna send us up the hill for a six-week chill But I got my computer screen to tell me how life ends The methods file, created by my friends In the net newsgroup alt.suicide.holiday Get out my way, I got something to say: I'm an asher! I'm an asher! Tryin' a catch that bus, there's a mob of us I'm an asher! I'm an asher! When the right way's found, we'll be underground! I'm an asher! I'm an asher! Me 'n them, you and I, got the right to die I'm an asher! Read the FAQ I gotta do what I gotta do. I've attempted every death method under the sun Except a gun – I'll give you money if you tell me how to get one I o.d'd on paracetamol Gimme a box of Amanita Phalloides and I'll eat 'em all I tried hangin' but my neck's too strong I tried it again, but I musta tied the noose wrong I cut my wrist with a chainsaw But that didn't do nothin' so I climbed to the tenth floor Thinkin' nothin's gonna stop me I took a dive out the window but I landed on a soft tree There must be a million ways to die But I fail at everything I try. I can't talk to my family and friends, they don't understand the attitude They been conditioned to deliver empty platitudes They want me to be a sheep The only one to tell me how to sleep six feet deep, is an asher. 'Cause I'm an asher Tryin' a catch that bus, there's a mob of us I'm an asher! I'm an asher! When the right way's found, we'll be underground! I'm an asher! I'm an asher! Me 'n them, you and I, got the right to die I'm an asher! Read the FAQ I gotta do what I gotta do what I gotta do. I'm an asher! It's the final solution – it shouldn't be a crime Kevorkian's a hero but he's doin' hard time You know who should be in jail? Everyone who intervenes to make a suicide fail. I'm old enough to make choice for myself There should be a legal suicide pill on the shelf Of the supermarket – well that would be a nice dream But I got another hair-brained scheme. I'm gonna cut my wrist in the bath with my head tied to a rock So then I'll drown and I'll bleed and I'll get a shock From the electric wires taped to my left hand You see I got it all planned I'll even have a suicide drink like a nicotine cocktail It's gotta work this time, it better not fail I'm not afraid, 'cause my time is up It ain't over till the heartbeat stop 'Cause I'm an asher – I'm an asher – When the right way's found, we'll be underground I'm an asher – I'm an asher – Tryin' a catch that bus, there's a mob of us I'm an asher! I'm an asher! Me 'n them, you and I, got the right to die I'm an asher! Read the FAQ I gotta do it and I'll tell you what I'm going to do: commit suicide.

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