"Canteen Boy" genre: Satire
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	The first thing you need to know is that I've never had a vocal lesson in my life and you can tell. This song is not supposed to sound pretty. Its supposed to be funny. This song is about preparing for an LDS mission.
	Credits: I should thank Dave Jackson and Neil Young for help on the song. And I'd also like to thank any girls who have ever helped a guy fill his canteen before his mission. You ladies know who you are ;)
	Story Behind the Song I wrote this song for SNL and the Institute. I just thought someone should do an Adam Sandler like song, and realized that that someone could be me (BTW- SNL is where the title "Canteen Boy" comes from. Canteen Boy is probably the most inappropriate skit ever done on SNL... and I think this will be one of the more inappropriate ones done at our institute. I'm still hoping they will let me say the word "gay" and "make out" Yikes! ;)) I wrote down a bunch of lyrics but I know very little about the guitar so couldn't come up with chords to go with it. So in a final attempt I just tried it with "Horse With No Name" and it kinda worked. If you are a Mormon pre-mish guy and want to still the lyrics or add on to this song, go for it. Come on, I think everyone realizes that that the idea behind this song is genius. I'm suprised no one else has done it yet. hehehe Lyrics Canteen Boy Written by Matt Johnson Music by Neil Young In the first part of my life While I was just a boy My mind would toy With the concepts of a mission I knew its hard work And not for any jerk So I'd be an elder with a vision Now I'm almost a man and its still in my plan To be one heck of a missionary So I'll talk to the RM's and heed their advice They'll give me a head start, oh won't that be nice La la la (just kidding, I can't sing that high) ME TALKING: I figure if I talk to guys who have been on missions, they will have tips for me. So I talked to an RM and here's what he said You need to read, study, and pray a whole lot Stay away from the girls and the kids who smoke put Learn to cook a good meal and how to really pray Hope for a nice car and a companion whose not gay ME TALKING: Then I talked to another one and he said You need to fill your canteen if you know what I mean For on your mission there aint no one for to fill your canteen You see your missions 2 years and that can be a long time And out in the field those girls they still will look fine So grab your canteen and ask a girl out Take what you can get cause you're in for a drought ME TALKING: I'd never heard of filling your canteen before so I was like "what do you fill it with? Soup?" and he was like "close" and then he explained it to me and here's what I though Well I'd known lots of girls but I'd never kissed one But I'd heard lots of stories and it sounded like fun Then I thought to myself thats just not my style I'm VL now and that can last for a while I need to read study pray and do that whole gig So when I'm out in the field my spirit will be big I'm not gonna fill my canteen cause that would be mean ME TALKING: My friend said he respected what I was saying, but that I was looking at it the wrong way. He told me my perspective was all messed up... he explained: There's plenty of time to read in the MTC So get yourself a girl and let your lips run free You see your missions coming soon and your running out of time Besides, kissing a girl was never a crime You'd better fill your canteen if you know what I mean For on your mission there aint no one for to fill your canteen You see your missions 2 years and that can be a long time And out in the field those girls they still will look fine So grab your canteen and ask a girl out Take what you can get cause you're in for a drought ME TALKING: At this point I remembered something my brother told me when he got back from his mission... he said Find some cute girls and plant lots of seeds Be real kind to them and do lots of good deeds Don't bother with the girls who are your own age By the time you get back they'll be trapped in marriage But then I thought to myself my brother's theory is real lame Why should I listen to Brian? When's the last time he got any game? ME TALKING: So I'm a 19 year old guy and naturally girls are on my mind. I'm gonna have to put them aside for 2 years and I basically have to options. I can plant seeds or fill my canteen Well its been two weeks since I turned my papers in And I'm not real sure if its considered a sin But I look at your girls and you're all looking real hot And I'll be gone for 2 years, so why not give it a shot? I think I'll fill my canteen if you know what I mean For on my mission there aint no one to for to fill my canteen You see my missions 2 years and that can be a long while So maybe one of you girls can help me leave with a smile Now if I talk to one of you and I ask you out It doesn't necessarily mean that I want to make out Just a couple of sips can help with the draught I want to fill my canteen So please girls... don't be mean So grab your canteen and ask a girl out Take what you can get cause you're in for a drought

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