"One Eyed Monkey Knife Fights (2002)" genre: General Comedy
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	CD: Johnny Lasker Credits: Johnny Lasker: Lead Vocals, Backing Vocals, Guitar
	Lyrics One Eyed Monkey Knife Fights People gathered round the courthouse picket lines and candlelight vigils for the cause pros and cons across party lines then the mayor came out delivered the news the verdict was in time to break out the dancing shoes Cause one eyed monkey knife fights are legal once more one eyed monkey knife fights five dollars at the door one eyed monkey knife fights we’ll never be the same one eyed monkey knife fights no need to feel that shame Course this news did please a few trainers bookies man and child but civil unrest did ensue and the activists were riled ticket sales and t-shirts sure were doing swell the monkey fight did the town right like a great big oil well One eyed monkey knife fights are legal once more one eyed monkey knife fights five dollars at the door one eyed monkey knife fights we’ll never be the same one eyed monkey knife fights no need to feel that shame Now the one eyed monkey is special he’s been around the world lost his eye in a bar room fight over some two eyed monkey girl his eyepatch his badge of honor sworn to secrecy to the fightin’ style and ancient art of the gladiator chimpanzee There’s Chi Chi who fights with a diamond-studded blade and Paulie who slices like a no-knock-raid Mr. Wiggles has the severed head of a swordfish and Luigi uses butter knives and pieces of a broken Elvis dish One eyed monkey knife fights are legal once more one eyed monkey knife fights five dollars at the door one eyed monkey knife fights we’ll never be the same one eyed monkey knife fights no need to feel that shame Just as fast as the monkeys came the people decided it was too tame crowds screamed out for gore the corrupt deputy said no more this is why they were banned before they fuel the fire of a vicious roar ordinary folks can’t bare to see the truly awesome power of the gladiator chimpanzee

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