"Face The World (1997)" genre: Hip Hop
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	Original version
	CD: Truth In Heart EP
	Story Behind the Song "Face The World" was originally written and recorded in January of 1997. It was inspired by a hook I used to repeat to myself and tag on anonymous walls when I was younger. "I don't want to face the world. I don't want to see my soul. I don't want to believe my tears were wasted on empty eyes." It was spawned at a time when I believe my bi-polar disorder first began to surface. I was trying to understand why I hated myself to so much and a lot of this song deals with issues that were present at that time in my life (suicidal thoughts, abuse in my childhood, self-hate, etc.). The structure of the song itself is scattered on purpose to convey my thinking at the time; my mind was almost splintered between ideas and thoughts while I wrote this song. "Face The World" was also the first time I had ever tried to inject personal thoughts into my music. Overall, it's a very personal song. Lyrics CHORUS (x3) Don't wanna face the world Don't wanna see my soul Don't wanna believe my tears were wasted on empty eyes Don't wanna face the world Don't wanna see my soul Don't wanna believe my tears were wasted on empty eyes I feel the rain fall on my skin, wishing it was washing my sin/ blocking visions of sunshine/ walking in the downpour, it seems like time/ slows to a stop/ only when I dream/ only when it seems I can escape/ the pain/ the life I live is dying without blinking once/ I didn't walk the road less traveled/ I was dragged down the path never used with a chain wrapped around my ankle and duct tape on my mouth/ my escaping pleas fell on deaf ears/ only the mute will listen to me now/ somehow I found myself gazing up to the sky in awe/ it reminds me of a painting left in the sun/ ruined by Mother Earth's sarcastic humor/ and as I wander about the place/ looking for a way out/ I can only guess how pungent the smell of rotting souls could be... CHORUS (x2) I can't sleep at night/ a screaming child wakes me every morning at 2:10 a.m./ and as I drown in my own soaking and sobbing, crying, my mind reminisces of the times I was beaten/ until I lay unconscious/ it felt so good, it was the only time I was at peace/ darkness, the black limbo between life and a permanent coma was a calming sea of suffering/ how I miss my kindergarten artwork of bloody beatings/ have you ever felt the wonderful ecstasy of being strangled until you lose the ability to breathe?/ utopian abuse/ show me a greater thing that fake father and temporary son share/ we never played catch, but I have such fond memories of catching a fist, a foot, a pot, a belt, a hammer to the hand/ I never saw it as punishment/ he made me the psychological study case I am today/ how proud of you are me?/ (oh my god)/ I never knew the love of a normal family/ but how can you judge what's normal/ I guess that's just another song about my life/ I guess this is just another song about my life/ I guess this is just another song about my life... (my life... what life?) CHORUS (x2) I feel compelled to complain about how bad my life is/ feeling sorry for yourself is just another way to cry out help/ you little whiny wimpy worthless piece of carbon-based life form/ don't wanna face the world/ like I don't wanna face my girl/ don't wanna taste the air/ don't wanna breathe your sweet voice in my ear/ I fear that it's too late for me and my self-pity/ this is just another autobiographical song/ from class clown to class loser/ high school dropout/ emotional user/ I used to think God was a child abuser/ but now I think She just has a sense of humor/ I have seen Hell and it is here/ Heaven is only where your soul can rest for more than a few minutes without being interrupted with such worthless ideas such as love and romance/ and still I'm bitter/ this sounds more and more like a reminiscent song... CHORUS (x4)

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