"Entertain the Visitors" genre: Indie
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	Aren't visitors so often boring? And ridiculously self-obsessed? You know, you could be lying at home recovering from an accident, or a major operation, with every bone broken in your body, and all your visitors would be interested in talking about would be their latest holiday. Or how they managed to save seventy-two pence on a coach-trip to Bognor. This song is about that tedium of having to listen to all kinds of junk when they come round drooling out their boring small talk.
	Credits: Cobweb Theatre
	Story Behind the Song A fan writes: Great to see a web page on MP3.com for the world's number one band. Can I just say something? The more I listen to Cobweb Theatre lyrics, the more I realise they are DEFINITELY influenced by both Old English sagas and 20th century French philosophers. This will be old news to most of you out there, but I'm stumped by one song in particular. I'd always assumed that Entertain the Visitors was mainly Jacques Derrida with a middle eight that is just so Beowulf, but one of my mates down the pub told me the whole thing was a parody of early Soviet literature. The conversation changed before I had a chance to question him further. So which of us is right? -- The Plastic Man Song lyric of the day: "With the force of a juggernaut multiplied by seven to the power of five" Lyrics When you've broken every bone in your body And you're ill with all the bottles of pills They come round and they feel so sorry for you And in fact they don't feel so well themselves Entertain, entertain, entertain the visitors Entertain, entertain, entertain the visitors We must entertain the visitors Oh you must not pick your nose in their presence And you smile as they trample your floor Stuff 'em up with crisps and stodgy sarnies Give the kids a fiver to share Entertain, entertain, entertain the visitors Entertain, entertain, entertain the visitors We must entertain the visitors And you're writhing in pain as they drool out all their small talk And it seems so inane but then that's entertainment They've done so much since they saw you last Christmas They've crashed the car, but they won't pay the fine Their son's away at Her Majesty's pleasure It's hard to bear, but it gets easier with time Entertain, entertain, entertain the visitors Entertain, entertain, entertain the visitors We must entertain the visitors And you're writhing in pain as they drool out all their small talk And any thought is in vain because that's entertainment Entertain, entertain, entertain the visitors Entertain, entertain, entertain the visitors We must entertain the visitors We must entertain You know we've got to entertain We must entertain the visitors

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