"Santa God" genre: General Comedy
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	Guy in the sky with a long white beard. Santa or God? I'm confused.
	Lyrics Santa God When I was a kid they told me something weird That there's a guy up in the sky with a long white beard And he does everything, and he knows each move you make And he knows if you've been bad so be good for goodness sake Back when I was four I thought I was pretty bright I said "You're talking about old Santa Claus, right?" But they got real quiet, and steam came from their ears And they said "You'll burn in hell for that for a million billion years!" "We're talking about God, you heathen little kid So you'd better beg forgiveness for all the sins you did He's easily annoyed and he doesn't take no crap And at the slightest provocation He will smite you flat" Oh, god and Santa Claus are coming to town One gives you presents and the other strikes you down I'll leave cookies for Santa, but not for god Cause he seems to think I'm a human lightening rod god, god, god, santa god... I said "He sounds so mean-- why is he so mad? My Santa's lots of laughs, though I know he's really Dad Are you sure this isn't Santa Claus, having a bad day?" But they said "We'd better get this kid to church right away" In the church they sat me down on a rock-hard wooden pew And told me not to move or speak unless I'm spoken to And a man in funny clothes talked for almost half a day And then they sang songs of joy while frowning in dismay (chorus) Please don't blame me for being confused But the things grownups tell me just don't compute Like "Always trust the President and CEO's With their sideways grins and their Ho Ho Ho's" So no one ever could tell me who this "God" guy was And why he's never photographed beside Santa Claus But Santa makes a lump of coal the only wage of sin This other grouchy guy must be Santa's evil twin Oh god and santa claus are coming to town One gives you presents and the other strikes you down I'll leave cookies for santa but not for god cause he seems to thing that I'm a human lightning rod He's gonna zap a million volts right through my bod His way of showing love is a little odd... © 2002 Dan Hart

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