"Baddest of the Worst"  Parental Advisory genre: Alternative Country
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	To absent friends - Old E, Andy Armstrong, Dirty Eddie, Uncle Trent. Most of it was recorded drunk...after the basic guitar tracks were done, everybody knifed it down to the ranch for the session....
	Story Behind the Song Uncle Trent was so nervous that it took about 20 min to get him to lay down them 10 seconds. The uninitiated bitch that he didn't sing. The less iniated sing of spontaneous gold... Dirty Ed is reviled to this day Lyrics I’d been drunk for a thousand days And it was coming on the winter And I was walking, thinking about my next beer And as the leaves disappeared in the angry sky I thought about friends from years gone by As faded and as distant And I turned my collar against the wind But couldn’t get warm again And as I hastened my step These words occurred to me… Andy Armstrong was an Irishman Born and raised in Ohio He had unnaturally long thumbs And apolitically they did go Into big’uns, small’uns, short’uns, tall’uns, fat’uns, thin’uns, drunk’uns friend and foe, But to family members, Andy did say no Now, no one’s letting on that Andy knew the girl behind the mask Was his libidinous step sister Leah – But some applauded the green goo a-dripping down his chin Indicative of gonorrhoea And now he’s passed it on to 50 And while on his 51st he said “I’ve always been the baddest of the worst” Old Eric was a Georgian boy – Shot off his manhood in the Gulf war – He was drunk for the 11th time in 7 days And hadn’t money for a whore And he was stickin it in his Irish buddy’s pet cat Bug And as the ol’prosthetic burst he said: “I’ve always been the baddest of he worst” And brotherman it seems every time I think I’m getting better, Some 16-year old vixen walks by in a low-neck sweater And she’s always got KY-jelly in that ornamental snake skin purse – I’ve always been the baddest of the worst Dirty Eddie was from Melbourne, went on a sex tour for three weeks, By misadventure, within the first two days Dirty Eddie had impregnated 4 generations of a family of circus freaks… He said the girl with 7 pussies was a challenge, And the co-joined Grandmas was perverse – “I’ve always been the baddest of the worst” And brotherman it seems every time I think I getting better Some 50-year old divorcee has bound me up in fetters But a woman’s a woman a woman Lord, from cradle, wedding bed, to hearse, I’ve always been the baddest of the worst Old Trent rolled out of Queensland Better drunk than not There’d been a rumour going round That he preferred corn-hole to twat… Dirty Eddie’s goddaughter Chastity happened to be in town, And Trent slipped his hand in hers, Whispered something in her ear, And just as Chastity’s lips were pursed, Trent stuck it in her arse “I’ve always been the baddest of the worst” Haven’t seen them boys in years Don’t really want to anyhow All those days of debauchery Are like illusions to me now… They say Ol’Andy married an Irish girl and now he’s got 7 kids (and a cat named E) Ol’Eric’s pimpin in Thailand looking happier than he ever did Ol’Trent is back in Brisbane bangin triplets a third his age They locked ol’Dirty Eddie in a cage – you see he got his wish and joined the circus, blessing or a curse… Them boys was the baddest of the worst And brother man it seems every time I think I’m getting better Some sweet young thing wants to shit on me and “God knows I let her” And the reality’s more ridiculous than could have possibly been rehearsed “I’ll always be the baddest of the worst” And MB still pulls the most pussy

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