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    "My Reward..."genre: Alternative General
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    Melodic rock, with building intensity and some interesting changes along the way. "This is just another part of my reward -after all the believing I did..."
    CD: material being recorded...   Label: n/a
    Credits: (c)(p) 1999-2002 Daniel Watkins. Vocal/guitar/bass Daniel Watkins. Drums-Justin Wallace

    Story Behind the Song
    MY REWARD was written during a period of intense personal questioning about the nature of faith and belief in God and in people around me.

    This song was written (exactly as is) in about 10 minutes in early 1999. The drums and a live guitar were recorded on first take at Basement Demo Studios in August 1999; the recording was finished in July 2002 when the backing vocal and acoustic guitar was put to tape.

    Lyrics
    I can't believe in you tonight
    It seems bizarre to let you know
    Because nothing, none of this seems to be real
    It just seems strange to let you go this way

    It's just another part of my reward
    After all the believing I did
    After all the believing I did
    Every feeling that I have just feels so dead

    Searching brings a lot of disapointment
    Far be it from me to want to disbelieve
    Far be it from me to even imagine that I can cope with what I was never meant to see

    But it's my choice to let this go
    Yeah it's my choice to let this go
    And I know you'll continue in leaving me alone

    So what is there to believe in tonight?
    In losing yourself, in proving to yourself
    In trying to see what you were not meant to see?

    This is just another part of my reward
    After all the believing I did
    Every feeling that I have just feels so dead

    And I know I'm not the first to feel this...
    I've lost myself and I've cost myself
    Everything I could've ever imagined
    But I can't believe in you tonight.

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