"If My Doggie Could Sh!t Money" genre: General Comedy
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	What if, huh?
	Credits: Ilan all around
	Story Behind the Song I had just thrown out my back, and i was trying to bend over to pick up my dog's poop. Well, I guess I needed a little motivation. Lyrics If my doggie could sh!t money, I wouldn't have a care. If my doggie could sh!t money I'd be a millionaire. I'd be walking my pooch, I'd be standing tall, And I'd be there with a baggie 'Case the chips might fall. If my doggie could sh!t money I wouldn't be afraid. If my doggie could sh!t money All my bills'd be paid. I could take it for granted That a box of milkbones Would yield enough income For a new mobile home. If my doggie could sh!t money, I'd assist my fellow man. If my doggie could sh!t money I'd lend a helping hand. I'd put ads in the paper Saying "get your free cash, But you might want to wash it 'Cause it smells just like ass." I'd be sittin' at the bar with my poochie and a porter And some guy by the phone, he would ask me for a quarter. I'd give my doggie something for to make the wind pass And say, "Pup's just like a slot machine every time he gets gas." Now my doggie don't sh!t money But I love him just the same. 'Cause his tail it starts to wagging Every time I say his name, And he's so full of love And he gives a good kiss, And I swear that I see gold in there Every time he takes a piss.

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