"Farm Medley (live at Conterpoint, Too!)" genre: General Comedy
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	My two bucolic comedy songs, Big Slab o' Cow and Farm Song in an impromptu medley, plus some pre-song banter that will start be annoying after the second or third listening.
	MP3.com CD: Novelties - buy it! Label: Pubsal Productions Credits: Music and Lyrics by Darren Zieger
	Story Behind the Song Both of these songs were written for Mental Floss (Miami's legendary comedy improv troupe). Only the first was ever performed, but it was a big hit. Lyrics Big Slab o' Cow If you want something to eat Got a hankerin' for some meat Well, rare or raw, we don't care how If you're tired of eatin' spuds And dont mind the sight of blood Bring your appetite to Big Slab o' Cow Big Slab O' Cow All of our livestock is right out in plain view Big Slab O' Cow Come in and choose the cow that's meant for only you Big Slab O' Cow You get the whole cow you can eat until you're full Big Slab O' Cow You get the udder so you know it ain't no bull At Big Slab O' Cow Spoken: Well come on in to Big Slab O' Cow. Just choose a cow out of our giant Cowquarium, and we'll flame broil him where he stands. And you get a gallon of barbecue sauce. And just say "rev up that chainsaw," and you'll get the fastest steak tartar in town. Big Slab O' Cow Come in today to the location nearest you Big Slab O' Cow And bring the kids along, they'll love our petting zoo Big Slab O' Cow And bring the dog we got a place for him of course Big Slab O' Cow Right next door at Big Chunk O' Horse So come on down To Big Slab O' Cow Mooo! Farm Song Down here on the farm We think there may be cause for alarm Cause the sheep have all turned read And the chicken has three heads and seven arms We live downwind of a nuclear reactor And we think that it may be a factor Cause the sky is full of trout And the horse is inside-out And it at the tractor Oh the grass is eight feet tall and ultraviolet The dog is levitating in the barn The artichokes are glowing The corn is dirty dancing And the roaches stayed exactly as they are They say that we should leave the farm behind They say that it's unsafe but we don't mind With a quark-quark here And a quark-quark there Here a quark There a quark Everywhere a quark-quark Albert Einstein had a farm E=MC squared

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