"Buy a Forum Goon a Life Foundation" genre: General Comedy
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	Radio commercial for the above organization
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	Lyrics Hi, I'm Hugh Goodstein, speaking for the Buy an Intermet Forum Goon a Life foundation. I'm going to tell you how, for just $.75 a week, the price of a cup of coffee, you can help these poor individuals back on the path to society. Every day of their life, these socially deprived youngsters log on and spend their time reading comedy web sites, using Adobe Photoshop, and trying to take down Geocities websites by refreshing the page thousands of times and using up the site's allowed bandwidth. Its a horrible existence. But you can help. For three dollars a month, you can buy your own Forum Goon a new life. Wel'll send you a picture of your goon, along with some basic information. The money you send will help buy him a hair cut, new clothes, acne medication, and a ticket to a movie. People hear about socially deprived forum goons and think "What can I do?" Well now heres your chance to do something. With your contributions, these people will be well on their way to making real friends and meeting real girls. Sure, it'll be hard for them at first... People they meet in person probably won't care about their rune sword +5 in everquest, girls wont be impressed by their 1000+ post count at an internet forum. But thats OK, because with your funds, Forum Goons will recieve special training, including "Going to a park to play sports" and "Talking to classmates." (Testimonial) "Hi, I'm Melivn Sikorski, and I used to spend 18 hours a day on my mom's AOL harassing people in the pokemon chat, posting on the somethingawful.com forum, and looking at dragon ball z pictures. Now thanks to the help of my sponsor, I have seven friends in my high school, and even like girls now! Thanks, buy a forum goon a life foundation!" We here at the Buy a Forum Goon a Life foundation honestly hope you consider sponsoring a forum goon and helping him become the best he can be. Thank you.

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