"Almontus Jerkus" genre: Rock
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	A God among Men
	MP3.com CD: Pieces of Leaf and Beef - buy it! CD: Pieces of Leaf and Beef   Label: 1919 Records Credits: Music/Lyrics/Production- Chris Sahl, copyright Smelly Thought Music; Charles Purcell Adams IV, Andrew Barney Between Beaton, Rick Plumpkin Kentz, Aristocratic Rob Walls- Background Vocals
	Lyrics He keeps his toenails neat, he does'’t eat white meat, he named your parakeet He wipes his ass with foil, he bathes in motor oil, he sold you magic soil He wrestles grizzly cubs, he calls cab drivers "Bub", he'’s hiding in your tub CHORUS: Almontus Jerkus has come to save the day His tactics are foreign, he might scare you away A new day dawns here, you’ll never be the same The Savior walks among us, Almontus is his name He always sleeps face down, he hates to go to town, he takes your lost and found He switch-hits at the plate, he hopes someday to mate, he'll bitch about your weight His fingers help him add, he starts the latest fads, he calls your grandpa “Dad” CHORUS He once went to Duluth, he'’s never lost a tooth, he calls you from phone booths He wears a silky robe, he pierced his right earlobe, he vandalized your globe He cries on Santa’s lap, he took four years of tap, he'll sniff you while you nap CHORUS

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