"Grammarians 'R' Pis**d!" genre: Satire
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	Bass Line Dada's musical crusade against the President's inarticulate English usage is hopeless, admits Daniel Ari, self-appointed grammar czar. Screaming above hard-rock riffs, he proclaimed, "Grammarians are pissed!" Oakland's experts of irreverence protest that the world's Figurehead of Democracy probably can't spell either term.
	Credits: Ari, Holzberg, Westland, Rebar, Knave
	Story Behind the Song Lyricist Daniel Ari says: "I actually work professionally as an editor. When I first got into the edit biz, I got on an e-mail list for grammarians, mainly copywriters and editors, plus some academics, and some people who just seemed to be into it for fun. The main thing I noticed was that everyone was really pretty angry all the time. The tone of the postings --as many as 80 a day-- ranged from plaintive whining to elitist disgust to outright anger. People complained about word constructions and contemporary quotes that were incorrect. That's also where I got the Douglas MacArthur thing. As a poet, I'm not really that uptight about using the language creatively - provided you know what you're doing. "We've been doing this song since 1996 or so. Clinton was harder to work with. He had good speechwriters and could extemporize without sounding like an imbecile. We had to ding him for split infinitives most of the time, and that's a pretty minor grammatical infraction. The one silver lining of Bush getting into office, as far as I'm concerned, is the volumes of material I've gotten for this song. And it's added whole new dimensions of anger to it. "[Producer] Brian Knave really captured the feeling in this recording. He helped formalize the lyrics.... Still there's nothing like the live version. The violence against Qualye gets really graphic when I'm improvising. Daniel Ari: Lyrics & Vocals Dr. Steve Holzberg: Bass Chris Westland: Guitars Rebar: Drums Brian Knave: Percussion Produced, recorded and mixed by Brian Knave Mastered by Myles Boisen 12/20 Lyrics GRAMMARIANS 'R' PISSED (record version) Nov. 2001 "Teach a child to read and he or her will pass a literacy test." "I understand small business, I was one." "The culture in our agencies have changed." The man in the White House has made all these misstatements. His speech is riddled with malapropisms, skewed diction, and made-up words. Now, his leadership may or may not be mandated. His actions may or may not be well conceived; but whatever you might think about his capabilities or his legitimacy, Grammarians are pissed! "I shall return," said General Douglas MacArthur. Now, some consider it grammatical esoterica, but the future determinative case, first person, singular, is will: I will return. But the dictum has gone down in history -incorrectly- and nowadays nobody even makes the distinction, but it's grammatically loose and Grammarians are pissed! Grammarians are pissed! Grammarians take to the streets, correcting everyone they meet. "Excuse me, sir, I couldn't help but overhear, and I think you meant to use the subjunctive case!" One thousand grammarians march on Washington, D.C., chanting, "Wipe out faulty construction, and start with the White House!" Grammarians are pissed! Grammarians are pissed! Grammarians are pissed! Six grammarians surround Dan Quayle in an alleyway and beat him senseless with The Chicago Manual of Style, 14th edition. The ex-vice-president is subjected to the full fury of the seminal style guide as an example to all who would flout the fundamental rules of usage. Grammarians are pissed! Grammarians are pissed! Grammarians are pissed! Grammarians are pissed! Of course it's understood that the language is going to change from time to time and place to place, but once the rules are set, they must be followed, or nobody can understand what anybody is saying. Abuses are heaped upon quotation marks. I've seen dangling modifiers that could curdle Steinbeck! And list, this one is easy. When you use exclamation points, you get one-not three, not ten, not this many. You get one exclamation point! Grammarians are pissed! Grammarians are pissed! Grammarians are pissed! Yeaahha-ahhha-aaooohh! Copyeditors...English teachers...College professors are pissed. They get drunk with a physicist in a wine bar... It's not even an issue of semantics, using simplistic good-versus-evil rhetoric to obfuscate really complex situations. I mean, he talks at us like we're kindergarteners. No wonder people "misunderestimate" him. Could I get a pinot noir? Grammarians are pis

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