"daddy" genre: Alternative General
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	Dark song about my Father and the emotional toll it took on me.
	Story Behind the Song The song began to be written over 15 years ago when I was staying over at my Dads house and was completely finished, and recorded Tuesday, January 8, 2002. I had just gotten a brand new Kramer striker guitar that I had saved my own money for and I brought it over to his house for that weekend. When I got it over there he said, “Let me hear you play something” so I picked up the guitar and played the two songs I knew (and I use the word “knew” lightly). The songs were the theme from Peter Gunn and Smoke on the Water. They were played out of rhythm while I clumsily slid a single finger up and down a single string to pick out the tunes. I wanted so badly for him to be impressed even though I knew it wasn’t impressive. He turned to me and said “yeah I know a lot of people that can play parts of a song, that’s not that hard, hell I bet I can even play a part of a song, it’s when you can know a song all the way through that means something”. I was wrecked, but still determined to show my Dad that I could impress him with it. I had a pack of new guitar strings so I proceeded to restring my guitar for the first time. Due to the fact that I wasn’t aware how to string the guitar, I broke all but one string putting it on. He came in and saw the broken strings all over the place and said “well that’s o.k. You only use one fucking string when you play anyway”. I put the guitar down and proceeded to clean up the mess. Later that night after my Dad had retired to his bedroom, I got up and got the guitar. I did a cheap ass rig job on one of the strings so it could be re-strung. I got out my tuner and tuned the only two strings on my guitar. They were the G and D strings. The two string in the center of the guitar. I sat the guitar on my lap and began the challenge I had given myself. The challenge was to write a small melody using two strings. After an hour or so I had it. A 10 second little note progression that seemed to also convey my emotion at the time. It had a dark and lonely feel and even though I had accomplished my goal, my emotional state remained unchanged. Unknowingly to me then, I had just written the first 23 seconds to the song that was to be called ‘daddy’. Over the years my playing improved and I worked hard on it. I tried at one point taking guitar lessons and was told, “my hands are too small, and I will never learn to play the guitar well”. But I think that it pushed me to try harder and be better. Playing guitar and writing songs became my way of expressing thoughts and feelings that I couldn’t express any other way. The funny thing is I never let anyone hear anything that I wrote, but it still made me feel better. It was a little over eight years after I had written that small melody at your house that it was about to become part of something greater. About a month after our wedding while my wife and I were waiting for our house to be built, we were asked to house sit for my Mom while they were out of town for a week. One night over there after my wife had gone to bed it all hit me and hit me hard. I didn’t like who I was. I had become the source of so many peoples pain. I had lied and hurt so many through mental games and manipulation. I was cruel and short tempered at times. I began to see a lot in me that I used to see in you. The saying things with no cruel intent and totally wrecking some one with out knowing it. It was then I thought “daddy I hope you’re happy, I’ve become just like you”. I sat there, by myself and began to play that little melody that I wrote over at your house. The song, lyrics, melody and all flowed like nothing else I had ever written and I knew that it was the purest song that I had ever composed. I played the song acoustically for myself often. I made efforts to record it several times but I never did it. It was too weird to have it in a tangible form and too emotional to record with other people. At the time I had no recording equipment so I would have to borrow some bodies and they would say “hey let me hear what you did” or try and stick around for the recording. I remember the emotions and I can transport myself back to the day I wrote that song and relive that feeling. It is my favorite song that I have written. Lyrics DADDY I HOPE YOUR HAPPY I'VE BECOME JUST LIKE YOU AND THOUGH YOU CANNOT SEE ME NOW I FEAR THAT YOU'D BE PROUD TO SEE THE PAIN I CAUSE SEE THE HEARTS THAT I'VE TORE TO SEE THE ONES I HURT TO SEE I CAN NOT LIVE WITH MYSELF ANYMORE THE DAYS HAVE FALLEN BLACK AND THE NIGHT, PURE PAIN I CANNOT CHANGE THE PAST THE MEMORIES REMAIN DADDY I HOPE YOUR SMILING AS I DO THE THINGS I DO AND THE ONE THING I KNOW IS THE ACTIONS STEM FROM YOU WON'T YOU COME SEE ME AND THE MESS I CALL MY LIFE AND EXPLAIN TO ME YOUR THINKING SO I CAN EXPLAIN IT TO MY WIFE MY FRIEND SPEAKS OF HIS FATHER AND ALL THE THINGS HE'D LIKE TO ASK BUT HIS DADDY'S TIME WAS SHORT AND SO HIS DADDY'S LIFE HAS PASSED IF I THOUGHT YOU'D BELIEVE ME I WOULD LIKE TO ASK YOU THIS WHY'D YOU CONDEMN ME TO THIS FATE AND ALL THE THINGS IN TURN I'LL MISS 'CAUSE I'M AS HOLLOW AS THE MOANING TREE'S THAT SCREAM MY PAIN THROUGH THE MIDNIGHT BREEZE IN COLD WINTERS RAIN BUT DADDY'S PROUD I HOPE YOUR PROUD BUT DADDY'S PROUD I HOPE YOUR PROUD MY DADDY'S PROUD MY DAD IS PROUD

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