Lyrics
[gong]
Wood-burning dog!
[acoustic dog]
[barking dogs]
[eerie musical buildup]
Woo-hoo, wood-burning dog!
Give it to me!
[dissonant bell riff]
[Texan sales pitch]
[Ratiug.]
Now what we have here...
Now, wood-burning dog.
Put another log on the dog.
Now, we got a question in the back.
I didn’t think those really existed.
Well, they do now!
[Meet Mr. Mike Feedback.]
[barking dogs]
[bridge on the river Frykhik]
[bonus unplanned screaming sample]
Cash in on government surplus!
Wood-burning dog!
Hey, is it, um, weather resistant?
Well, we got a question in the back.
Hey, you over there, are you wre...ahhhhhhhhhh!
Security! Security! Get that man! Put that man down!
[barking dogs]
[special testimonial section]
Have you ever said:
No more dead-end pets!
Half as expensive.
Twice as efficient!
It cut my fuel bill in half.
Right now!
Wood-burning dog!
One, eight-hundred, B-U-R-N-I-N-G.
[lighter flicking]
[fire]
Turn your frustration into joy.
[cash register]
[barking]
I had an acoustic dog, but it kept breaking down.
Damn it!
Space-age technology!
I can’t believe it!
Stylish, Italian design.
Wow, that’s incredible!
No more cold, winter nights.
It cut my fuel bill in half.
Have your credit card ready!
[someone dropped the bell down the stairs]
[intrusive disco sound]
[guitar solo]
[gong]
[acoustic dog]
Wood-burning dog!
Frankly, I’m amazed!
That’s fantastic!
Woo-hoo, wood-burning dog
Give it to me!
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