"The Internet Dating Song" genre: Satire
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	A song that chronicles my adventures in online dating -- all of which actually happened.
	Story Behind the Song I delved into the wacky world of internet dating for a few years. While I did meet a many nice women, I had some dating nightmares which I wanted to immortalize in song. Lyrics The Internet Dating Song [by Ron Polland] CHORUS ------ Here I am on the Internet gonna see now what I can get I have heard it said by some friends of mine it is an easy way to meet chicks. Now I've never done this before and I can't say that I am really sure that I know what I am looking for If it's more than just for some kicks. I was sitting here debating if I should try internet dating I was married for so long that I've forgotten what to do. So I joined this dating service but I'm starting to get nervous 'cause they're asking personal questions and they expect me to tell 'em the truth. [CHORUS] Got e-mail from a lady who said her name was Sarah Brady she described herself as slender and said she had very sexy eyes. But I knew that she was lying when she said she looked like Meg Ryan she looked more like Rosie O'Donnell and was more than twice her size. [CHORUS] Now I never felt in danger when going out to meet a stranger but that all changed when I met Kelly who was a psycho in disguise. On our date she went ballistic when I said she was unrealistic and she picked up her glass of Chardonnay and threw it in my eyes. [CHORUS] The other day I got a letter and I thought it sounded better it was from a widow who was married twice and had a Ph.D. We had a very pleasant dinner and I thought I had picked a winner until she said that both of her husbands had passed away unexpectedly. [CHORUS] Now you'd think that I'd be bitter but I have never been a quitter and I'm hoping that my luck will change before my subscription ends. Since I've already spent the money I'll keep on searching for my honey even though it's been a pain in the ass I have made a lot of new friends. [CHORUS]

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