Story Behind the Song
(Kick) - "I can write songs blindfolded in my sleep. Years ago I would vent creativity by writing and recording 'albums' of demos, playing most of the parts myself, make a little cover for the 'album', and perhaps select the best song(s) (the 'single'(s)) to use in the band. (I refrain, however, from cluttering empythree dotcom with fake 'bands' of demos or 3-gig-and-a-demo flash in the pan project barrel scrapings.)
By the early-mid 90's, There was no reasonable outlet for any more than an album's worth of material at any given time, and I couldn't stand watching all my babies die like the 100 baby turtles that mostly get eaten by birds on the way to the ocean. I decided to only write 'keepers', do it correctly the first time, and have no 'waste' songs.
ANYHOW, by 1999 My best friend and band co- founder Stewart Langille had died, I had written a few songs of mourning, and Sol and I didn't want to write a whole album like that. In search for other inspirations, I drew the first blank of writer's block in my life. For weeks I couldn't think of a happy or abstract, or entertainingly viscious topic. Then I met HER. Holy inspiration from a toxic and infectious spirit. I wrote the second verse first, and then spun off into the funny killin yerself song it became.
Her name is Teresa and she rocks. She dismissed my writer's block. ...and she cut up my heart into tiny little pieces and threw them over her shoulder because she thought my focus was not on her, which wasn't the case. This despite her aloof unaprochability mixed with intrigue and sex.
Lyrics
I'm not offin' myself these days
You never believe the silly luck it was
an accident I jumped off. ...and I don't know how the noose got round my neck.
A week of councelling they couldn't find out
how the toaster got in my bathtub.
And I'd be lying
if I said it wouldn't happen again.
Douse myself with gasoline, but my buddy
took the matches away.
Time and time it always happens again.
'Just Shoot Me' ain't my line.
I'd rather just do it myself, yeh.
Put a straight Jacket on me now...
or else I'm takin' my life again.
20 truckloads of human filth arrive
at the suicide treatment plant
Many troubled souls run down the pipe
at the suicide treatment plant.
I promised myself that I would
never sing no punkass love song.
But sometimes it's not the rules,
it's the mind that gets bent.
Maybe suddenly the girl of my dreams came to me at the beer hall last night.
I'd be an idiot
to think that this would happen again.
We said some corny, cheesy, shmoozey
pitter patter, chatter and boozin'
time and time it always happens again
She wouldn't look me in the eye, say goodbye
in the morning when I dropped her off, yeh.
Put a straight jacket on me now,
or else I'm taking my life again (chorus)
(middle eight)
Clinically dead for half an hour,
I took a guided tour of limbo.
Stupid doctor blew a fuse and zapped me back.
I went to churches and a psychic or two
and a gypsy and L.Ron Hubbard,
makin' plans
just in case it ever happened again.
I'm gonna let you let me let you try
to never let me drown.
Time and time it always happens again.
If all my friends who borrowed cash
payed me back, it would surely be a first time thing, yeah.
If my back wasn't full of knives,
I'd have room to fit one in. (chorus)
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