Story Behind the Song
I started working on this song this past summer. Christmas songs are particularly difficult to write. You tend to copy the classics. So I started with the theme of good wishes and turned it around a bit...
Lyrics
I Hope Santa Kicks Your Butt For Christmas
(c) 2000 by Joe Kretschmer, ASCAP
All this year you've given me nothing but grief.
You've tormented me, every day, without a bit of relief.
Now the holidays are here; Christmas spirit fills the air,
So when it comes to season's greetings I'll be brief
[Chorus]
I hope Santa kicks your butt for Christmas,
And his reindeer leave little presents on your rug.
I hope your First Noël, will be a night in Hell,
And all your Christmas cards come back stamped: "Bah, Humbug!"
Yeah, I hope Santa kicks your butt for Christmas
And your New Year's Eve turns out to be a great big bore
'Cause I'm making it real clear; I've had it up to here,
And I'm not gonna take it any more.
[Bridge]
Yeah, I'll rearrange your Christmas lights,
so they spell out nasty words and slights.
And when your neighbors recognize their names,
they'll roast your chestnuts on an open flame
I hope Santa kicks your butt for Christmas.
And his reindeer leave souvenirs on your front porch.
I'll put women's underwear, in your stocking hung with care.
And when your wife discovers it, she'll sue you for divorce.
Yeah, I hope Santa kicks your butt for Christmas.
And the IRS comes to audit you this year.
But if you come to me, don't expect any sympathy,
I'll just cry a big old crocodile tear.
[tags:] And I'll slam the door and get myself a beer.
And for me it'll be a very good new year.
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