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    "p e l i c a g n o s i s (p a r t s 1-4)"genre: Abstract
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    PELICAGNOSIS literally means "The mind of Christ". All of us seek the truth of what the defination of reality. This opus will be your short escape from our mechanical and anthrocentric world. May the mind of Christ be your guide as you let yourself fall into this aural bed of deep sombiance.
    MP3.com CD: pelicagnosis - buy it!buy it!
    CD: pelicagnosis   Label: Dieiatra Etc./Crashed Satellite
    Credits: Jobe

    Story Behind the Song
    absent words...

    how many absent words have there been

    did you see that night
    the fire fell on us
    remind me what i didn't want to know
    those things i thought would bring me death
    those thoughts that filled my heart
    that broke it open

    i was naked

    i forgot it was pure

    rain fell yesterday
    heart was beating yesterday
    forgot it was there

    was the invitation offered
    merely a courtesy not intended for me
    a small part of the huge nothing that exists

    all my world is made of is a lie

    nothing told to me stands as truth
    i do not live in the
    world you told me existed
    you told me what you thought it was
    the tiny part you saw then closed the door
    expectations created cannot be met
    yet continue to be taught as truth

    am only seen when you desire me... where you go i continue to wait

    sharpness of reality

    blocking out the call for desire
    replaced by ambition

    a call...
    how do i answer
    so faint yet all i hear


    [july 25th]
    where did you leave off and why have you been gone so long? the lilies of the field? where do we get these ideas for these battles that only further us. man in an attempt to find order where there appears to be none, only he is just beyond understanding and is attemping to create his own truth. to fight for the truth he made and let it rule him.

    [july 29th]
    is there anywhere left where you have not been where you have not destroyed? don't
    lose me i am holding onto the ledge. is it falling or letting go that i seek?
    is my world the same as the one i am looking at. hidden ugliness behind a veil of
    togetherness. do i look as i ought? and act as who i am?

    [august 4th]
    how many times are we allowed to repeat moments... how is it chosen what wrongs
    you'll be given a chance to correct?

    [august 16th]
    fragile sun
    rely on me
    i carry you through all
    nothing remains, thoughts disapear
    you are all that is left
    out of the nothing i have been given
    i failed even then
    how can i not with you
    there is nothing in me, no response left
    all buried with the one who stole it
    forgiveness lacking
    truth never existed only what you want to believe
    nothing to see beyond this view
    falls back upon itself NOTHING
    the great nothing that keeps me up
    the nothing that destroys you

    sober anger
    dream
    test days = windtunnels
    for love?

    [august 25th]
    one tear hits the stone
    all others dry inside
    whatever was expected to be found
    is now becoming overgrown,
    reality of pain erases all other forms
    passion exists in brief overwhelming moments
    where nothing is out of order
    as the blue of my eyes continues to fade
    until you are found...

    [august 28th]
    to much pain
    all i want is interest taken
    i took it but never recieced there was
    always more lacking in me
    nothing left here
    empty eyes staring back...



    [writings by elise ivie]

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