"Pre-flight Checklist" genre: General Comedy
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	Shirley's most popular track with over 12,000 plays each month! Number ONE on Mp3.com Comedy Top 40 Charts! Flight attendant Shirley Q. Liquor prepares Ebonics Airways passengers for takeoff.
	CD: Cocktail Party
	Lyrics Good morning ladies and gentlemen. Welcome aboard. This is Section 8 flight for Ebonics Airways. Please check your ticket at this time to make sure you onboard the right aircraft. As you is taking your seat today, we would like you to pay attention up here to the front for a minute. I am your head hostess Shirley Q. Liquor. Howyou durrin? Also assist me in the cabin today is Shameka, Danita, Laquita, Vanita and Miss Rhonda. And we don't know what sexual orientation Miss Rhonda is, or what her gender is, but you can axe her when she be seated. Today flight is on a McDonnell Boing MD-44 aircraft, it is a double-deck whisperjet, honey. If we runs into any problem on the aircraft today, our captain is Rev. Cleotis Jefferson, who is also pastor of Macadamia Jubilation Congregation. And he is assisted today by Deacon Earl Clovis, and we want to welcome him into the spirit of the Lord. Ladies and gentlemen, it have come to our attention that we have a celebrity on today flight. Let's give it up and put your hands together for the complex multi talents of Miss Latoya Jackson, who is flying first class with us today. I would like to point out that regulations do require that all firearms be securely stowed for the duration of the flight today to New Orleans. We, as your cabin crew, is please to serve you. Do not hesitate to ask for assistances. However the stewardess do not appreciate if people are feeling up on they legs. In the event of a change of altituve, oxygen masks will drop in front of your face. Please ask your child to remain seated at all times and apply they mask after you have applied your own mask. We ask at this time that you do not spills things on our carpet as it is not yet paid for. Ladies and gentlemens, if you look to the back of the aircraft, you will notice it is a restroom for your convenience located in the back and one up here in the front. But the one in the front is for first class only, thank you. Please note that the blue water will not dissolve a hair weave. But if you are a older individual, and I notice we got some old people in here today - how y'all durin?- we ask that you please use discretion and do not attempt to flush a disposable undergarment. On Ebonics Airways, if you choose to smoke, that is, of course, your business and the airline do not be responsible if the white folks on the ground finds out about it. The smoke detectors in the restroom has been disconnected for your convenience, but we still ask - please do not smoke clove up in here. Our flight time today is whenever we get there, we get there. At this time, please be seated. One final reminder today, our aircraft is not a church. The combination of liquor and altituve is not the same as getting happy. Also I want to announce that we do not allow any loud talking up in here. We appreciate you flying with us today and we ask that you sit back and fasten your seat belt. And you know how to do that, so I ain't gonna tell ya, if you that ignerant, you need to get off the plane. We hope you enjoy your flight today, so sit down and shut up and here we go. Shirley Q. Liquor

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