"Phunny Valentine" genre: General Comedy
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	Hysterical, irreverent rap about striking out in the game of love on Valentine's Day.
	Credits: Words by Phoebe Carter; Music by David Vaughn; Produced by David Vaughn for Purple Planet Productions
	Lyrics Valentine Valentine My man is such a swine I cant believe he dropped the ball This year another time Its the 14th of February The world series of love Does he want to win this game And catch my heart inside his glove He didnt bring me jewelry He didnt bring me flowers In this championship game I had to send him to the showers I needed a grand slam So I let him get on top He got the bases loaded But he was a short stop On Valentines Day To stay on my winning team Get a clue, Im keepin score Dont make me want to scream [Hook]: Dont bring me chocolate And complain that Im not thinner (Strike one!) Graveyard flowers And a two for one dinner (Strike two!) Dont beg for me to give it up And then call me a sinner (Strike three!) Youre outta here, Game over This girl deserves a winner It seems that in the draft I always pick a loser A minor league player Big tobacco chewin boozer Last year he bought me tickets To the monster truck pull Oh yeah, honey, dont stop Youre making me drool Two hours late for dinner No perfume made by the French He struck out on the diamond Sent his ass to the bench With anything to choose From the many shopping malls On this most romantic night I only got his foul balls [Hook] You men just front, but on this hunt Its really sex you want Dont swing too hard when signals say Its better just to bunt If the dugout is where You were a full-time tenant Take some coaching from your woman And you might just snatch the penant He said to me, his MVP Valentines Day is like a trap You girls get so aggressive I gotta put on a jock strap Hersheys kisses for the misses Aint I even in the ballpark Hey I spent almost five bucks On this lousy card from Hallmark [Hook] To get on base, bring me lace Put a big smile on my face With chocolate hearts long-stem roses You can win this race But if you lose dont blame cupid Its not his fault youre stupid Just go back to training camp Youve got all year to recoup it [Hook] This girl deserves a winner

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