"American Icon"  Parental Advisory genre: Power Pop
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	CD: American Icon   Label: Archive Records Credits: J. Nocera/G. Pokoj/G. Smith
	Story Behind the Song The Tortoise and the Hare We recorded the final tracks for this song in Buffalo, NY during a blizzard in January of 2000. We left the studio at about 2:30 in the morning, and realized how bad the storm had progressed since we entered the studio earlier the previous day. We were riding with Gary in his van. This van didn't have a working heater fan, so the temperature in the van, though warmer than outside, was probably still hovering around the freezing mark. We heard on the radio that Interstate 190 was closed, so we decided to go the long way home, taking side streets through North Tonawanda, NY. The snow plows had either not been out yet, or couldn't get out (the snow had to be between 1 and 2 feet in the street itself). We were rolling along on River Road at a speed of maybe 15 or 20 miles an hour, when we came upon a car in front of our van doing less than 5 miles an hour. We (Greg and Joe) warned Gary not to pass the slow car, because there was only one set of tire tracks in the snow that would appear to allow a car to proceed down this street. We were all pretty tired, cold, and hungry, and it was obvious that although one should drive with caution in such weather extremes, this old coot was traveling at a speed that would drive a drunken snail crazy. After a few minutes of being locked behind this car, Gary decided to pass this guy. He aimed the van into the untouched snow in the middle of the road to pass. The impact of the snow against and under the vehicle made it difficult, but Gary accelerated just enough to get through it and past the old timer (and what appeared to be his wife). We couldn't help but laugh and sneer at the old guy as we passed, mumbling something along the lines of "learn how to drive old timer, or better yet, stay at home with the old bag." We drove about a quarter of a mile when the van suddenly farted and died in the middle of the road. Enough snow must have gotten impacted under the vehicle that it caused the engine to stop. We were stuck in the only driving path available on River Road heading north and this in a blinding snowstorm. We, well really Greg, began to panic, realizing that someone might not see the dead vehicle until it was too late, and would ultimately ram into the van's ass end. Their was also the possibility that we would freeze to death (did I mention that we had all of our band equipment with us, and no locking doors on the back of the van, so abandoning the vehicle did not seem like a plausible option, no matter what personal physical sacrifices had to made). About 15 minutes had passed (every couple of minutes during this time, Gary would attempt to start the van, but it would just cough and die again), when Joe suddenly realized he had his new cell phone with him. On top of that, Einstein realized he had a roadside assistance agreement with the phone. He immediately called for assistance, but the operator said it might be an hour or more before a tow truck would be able to get there to help them. By this time, we were absolutely freezing. Suddenly we saw a car creeping up behind our stranded vehicle. Maybe it would stop! Maybe they could help! The car slowly drove up behind our van; then began to pass. It was the snail and his wife that we had passed 20 minutes earlier. The old couple darted a dirty glare at us and seemed to mutter something under their breath as they passed. I'm no lip reader, but I think it was something along the lines of "Goddamn teenagers; Drunk Again!" To make a long story short, about 10 more minutes passed, the van miraculously started, and we made it home without losing one piece of band equipment or appendage.

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